Trouble....

I haven't been able to sleep or wake up normally lately. My 'internal' clock is SO screwed up. I am stressed to the max due to life, and my 'weekend' buddy, and opted OUT OF THE GYM this morning. I was actually dressed, and out the door and returned. I have been stress eating like nobodies business, and am up 8.5 lbs. Not good. I turned my cell off today, and do not plan on seeing him until at least 25 (I said we would go to Sherlock). Yesterday was a GRAND day...
I ORDERED THE VITA MIX 5200!!! In Platinum! Actually, he ordered and paid for it. But still....
I had been wanting one for years, debating between the Vitamix, Blendtec and Montel's Health Master Emulsifier etc. I know he is going to hold it over my head as in "How is the VitaMix I" got you'. etc.

My gym membership was being paid by my dad because it is a private corporate facility in him old place of work. He told me he can't afford to pay it anymore due to finances (he got laid off) and that is causing so much panic and stress. It is my morning solace and it calms me down. Hence stress eating and avoiding dealing with it. I feel guilty for not going today. I am in a complete state of panic and stress 24/7 and it shows. I have so much to be grateful for and am not trying to sound whiny. I will start posting normal stuff soon. I just need to chill out!!! UGH

Yesterday I worked at the Sugar Free Shop, and I ended up calorically overdoing it (multiple that by 1million). I take full responsibility- I made crappy choices due to stress. My way of coping? Eat 11 packets of McCanns No Sugar Added Oatmeal. This was of course after I had already eaten breakfast, and lunch. I microwaved it in sf Walden Farms Pancake Syrup, sf DaVinci Gourmet syrups etc. I actually liked it uncooked as well.I had 8 (whole box) of the Cinnamon Roll, and 3 of the Maple. I made it thick. It put such a dent in my day and mood. I got some really cute 'monkey covered' socks, lemon juice, peppers (red), green onions, radishes, zucchini, the new Cherry Lime flavored Xenergy, a can of spinach, whole yellow canned beans, and grape tomatoes after work.

I ended up not being able to sleep due to anxiety, and ate 3 red peppers with PC Guacamole Sauce. It's pretty much chunky salsa with lime juice. I also finally cracked open my box of Celestial Seasoning's Gingerbread tea. Meh. I really want the Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride, which apparently is the one flavor you cannot but in Western Canada. I was planning on showing up at work, and hoping my manager won't notice I am not scheduled. It is -32 outside not including wind chill!!! I am also depressed, tired, and so stressed that I feel woozy at times standing. I texted my 2 co-workers yesterday telling them I'll see them, but I think I need a fun day. Or a stress free one! I am confused because he put up approximately 4 weekly schedules and now I wonder if I am scheduled?? I am sitting here drinking a cold Xenergy freezing (apparently I am not the smartest cookie in the world!). I had some that weren't refrigerated, but got all 'organize-y' and put them all in the fridge... Major regret.

Ready to go face the cold. I am not properly equipped for this weather (physically, or mentally) and am wearing flimsy Adidas Track pants. I need heated electric long johns.. really I am all for rocking the Heated Thermal Underwear (and yes, I felt that needed capitalization).

It is 12:24pm and I am still waiting for my friends' car to start so he can pick me up. We are planning to go to the new Disney movie, Planet Organic, Superstore, and maybe a few stores in Chinook mall (Chapters, GNC, Benix for cheap bowls etc). I am feeling so blah today that I actually went to lie down! Stressed, hungry but stuffed at the same time (my comfy jeans are digging into my waist flab)..sigh.

Movie was meh..okay. Got 3 new glass bowls, thinsulate black gloves, MONKEY slippers, 3 bags Dole Romaine (908gram), 4 packs radishes, guacamole seasoning (like salsa with chunks and lime), trident gum, green onions, and 3 Xenergy's.

Here is dinner:




Unpictured :GG Bran Crisps, 14 sheets of seaweed, jello etc.
Hope I can sleep tonight. I am so drained and stressed I want to cry. BOO!

Return of Chocolate "Brownie Batter" aka Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Food mix

I have had the shittiest workouts these past few days. I woke up with crazy muscle HEAT and weakness yesterday and 'slept in' majorly. I got up @ 7:50am. As you recall I am usually ON THE MACHINE AT THE GYM by 7:30am the latest. I literally ran to the gym and was on @ 8am. I could barely move my legs. So tired. Obviously my body was trying to tell me something.

Today was better, but my speed and strength were so low. I did 54min=519cal/5.34m. Was planning and so excited to go see 'Up In The Air' today, but they pushed back the release date! Instead they bumped up Invictus from Xmas day, so I am going to that instead! So excited. I also used my Superfood and finally made some 'Brownie Batter'!!! YUM YUM YUM. I added some PGX granules, psyllium husks for thickness, cinnamon and 3 packets Sweet and Low, and mixed it all with Walden Farms SF
Pancake Syrup and DaVinci SF Irish Cream syrup. Too good to describe.




Lunch was so good! Steamed (microwaved) zucchini and radish, the rest I cut up and ate raw and spiralized the Zucchini. Green beans seasoned and heated, 455g bag of Coleslaw, Country Italian Walden Farms Dressing, tons of HEAT WAVE Cape Herb and Spice Company grinder, and cucumber!



INVICTUS WAS GOOD!!! Got a beautiful calendar from the Calendar Club! This is always a huge process for me; I always get 2-3 calendars and I need to pick the perfect one. I got Mediterraneana! I also got a wicked glass med size bowl, L'Oreal Carbon Black new Voluminous mascara and tea. We then went to Planet Organic again, and I got another 2 spices from the Cape and Herb Company; Heat Wave (again) and another chicken.

Here is dinner:

I thought it was THURSDAY :(

I thought it was Thursday today, and was CONVINCED yesterday was Wednesday. I can not begin to tell you how devastated I was yesterday when I realized it was only Tuesday. Not even mid week and I was burnt out. Went to Planet Organic after work with my 'weekend buddy' and got new tea, more Simply Natural Black Bean and Corn Salsa, more Cape and Herb spices (lamb, chicken, fish, zest for life) and some other basics. We then went to London Drugs where I finally found the LAST of the new Rimmel plumping glosses in plum. I also have Rose Allure. They are out at every store.

Work was OK- annoying co-worker was MOODY today and decided to order ME around and just 'wanted to clarify' things. UGH. I brought her sugar free chocolate cheesecake fudge and she didn't even say thank you. Possibly going to either go see 'Stepfather' in the cheap theatre, or "Everybody's Fine' after work tomorrow. So SO SO excited for 'Up in the Air"!!!! FRIDAY!

Here is part of dinner:

I am trying to come up with a 'festive' title for this post, however I am covered in goosebumps, shaking, the the apparent brain freeze I am experiencing is due to the back that IT IS FREEZING! I kid you not, I nearly cried last night when I ran from the grocery store to the car. The icy biting wind was unrelenting. As soon as I got home (1.5hrs later than I wanted to AGAIN) I immediately turned on the kettle for tea, and started on dinner. I discovered this morning that I didn't put 5 bags of radishes away (brain freeze- oops). I had also missed 1/2 of Tori and Dean on Slice. It was a sad moment. I also couldn't feel my feet. I got more Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Foods, and told myself I wouldn't have any....11 servings later.... It's just so yummy. I am kind of depressed over that.

I work with Christina today- which is the girl that I like, as opposed to my other co-worker, so that makes Monday much more enjoyable.

I am also contemplating buying heated electric underwear. I also think this will be the year that I will bring 'Onesies' or the snowsuit back (as well as the Sexy!). I HATE HATE HATE freezing winter weather. Again, all I can say it Seychelles. What were my parents thinking??!!! ha ha

Gym was GRUELING. I didn't have any brownie batter chocolate greens, because I felt so ashamed for having 15 servings last night. I ended up binging on Renew Life's Fibersmart again. I got to stay 2.5hrs longer at work which was good. Here is dinner (unpictured seaweed, salsa, gg crisp, jello and second bowl of salad/broccoli slaw/ grape tomatoes etc):

Had a horrible night, and yet an amazing workout! 54min:530cal/5.83miles.
Had 8 Sweet Nothing SF Black Licorice Cats, and BROWNIE BATTER!




We ended up going to Sobey's because they had Coleslaw 454g bags on sale for $1! I got 5! I also got a wonderful awapuhi/papaya conditioner (Freeman) and found 2 new seasonal lip glosses from Rimmel! Grabbed some Romaine, Salsa, Gum, Radishes, Asparagus, Resistex, Green Onions, Rubbermaid Lock It Tupperware and I got a new big and tall mug, and a square black ceramic bowl I'm going to use for Salsa. I also got some Peri peri sauce, and Mama Choulas!

I got home SUPER late (7:40pm) so I was stressed trying to make dinner etc. We didn't go to Amaranth Natural Foods, Planet Organic, and Community Natural Foods :(
Dinner:








I was so anxious after dinner that I got up @ midnight, went down to my mailbox, grabbed a packet of Protilife Chocolate, ate that, had 2 more seaweed sheets, another 455g bag of radishes, a sweet bell pepper, and 6 jello. I couldn't calm down! Very wired up.

No work today! I woke up early, decided to lie in bed for a bit and then woke up 10min to 7!!!! ARGH. Came to the gym CALM and late! AMAZING good workout. The kind that you zone out. I added 6min and did 60min=583Calories/6.14Miles!
After I had a wonderful long shower, and 3 Sweet Nothings' Sugar Free Belgium Black Licorice Cats. Of course, I was looking forward to my 'Brownie Batter' aka Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Food mixed with sweetener, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, sf Walden Farms Pancake Syrup, and DaVinci SF Chocolate syrup! I added PGX granules, and some psyllium husks to it- hence the weird thickish texture:



I FINALLY used my spiralizer today- had 2 zucchinis (1/2 made into chips, the other spiralized):











Went to see 'The Brother's' (really good and dramatic), got a new book "The Bishop's Man" and loaded up on jello, and the most exciting shocking find EVER! Superstore had WALDEN FARMS products in their Kosher section! I actually pummled my friend and shreiked out load from excitement!


Dinner: