108...

Good Morning.
I woke up this morning with the sun shining, and the residual of my advil pain- and thus the the remnants of a pounding headache. I am convinced it is stress related. I am seeing my dad today, and that always affects me. I am @ 108lbs and it is not water retention. Not a day goes by without someone assuming I'm pregnant. I've put on so much abdominal fat lately, and steadily that I barely notice the difference on a daily basis until I stop to really look and compare pictures. YIKES. Still wanting to go get a blood test, and check my cortisol levels, blood sugar, blood O2, liver enzymes, iron, b12, potassium, electrolytes and thyroid! I'm just paranoid with doctors and hate going. The only place remotely near me that is a walk in is the 'urgent care' center in downtown. They told me I could be waiting for 4+ hours because it's obviously based on priority of sickness etc.

I am currently trying to get psyched for the gym, and am failing miserabley. I am drinking my morning Xenergy (mango guava today) with a bit of Gaspari SuperPumped 250 thrown in and a bit of Prairie Naturals new "Rise and Shine' morning lemon flavored powder with aloe, and minerals. I also took my multi, extra B, today I decided to use my 'SlimQuick Extreme' (for energy) and 4mg ephedrine (again, energy and pain). I think I"m going to use Cytolean tomorrow (Gaspari- steady clean energy- love it!) and I have a sample of the NEW thermo from Nutrabolics (very impressed with their new products) called Hemodrene.

I was supposed to have today off from work, but since my dad screwed everything up and I left early yesterday due to feeling so sick from all the burnt smoke coming in through the vent, I asked if I could come in for a bit this morning instead. I am going to load up on bell peppers and hopefully go by T&T's asian market for bamboo shoots (I eat 1-2 cans a day).





230pm- So far my day has been fantastic! I had a nice breakfast, didn't feel light headed (don't know if it's because of the Gravol ,or bc I"m getting better?!) had a nice workout, work was laid back and now I am waiting for my dad to take me to grab some groceries. I had my instant cereal with protein this morning, bran crackers, bag of carrots, can of wax beans and bamboo shoots. I also had 1 scoop of BioX's Power Whey Isolate in Chocolate Peanut Butter (my favorite brand). If I do well I am going to make protein cheesecake using Allmax's Isoflex Protein.

This is the remainder of my instant cereal with protein and bran stirred in from this morning. So yummy!!! It was about 3/4 full.

Came in the mail today!!!

This is what came in the mail for me today!!! I love the GG Scandinavian Crisp Bread so much, that the company sent me their new product "Sprinkles'. They are essentially the bran crisps crushed. Great in protein, pudding, yogurt, as breading for 'chicken' pie crusts, onion rings, baking etc.

This is the 'sprinkles' with 2 pumps of sugar free Davinci Gourmet blueberry flavoured syrup.

For dinner I had my normal huge stew concoction: a bag of shirataki noodles, a can of wax beans, a ban of bamboo shoots, 1 can tuna, green onion, 1 tomato, 1 orange bell pepper, 2 cucumbers and nori seaweed sheets. I then had another 6 servings of the bran sprinkles... I need to get them out of my apartment!! Anything carby and crunchy I can't stop eating. Now I'm @ 3000cal and pretty upset. I have no self control when I'm stressed!!! sigh

June 15

After stopping at 4 pharmacies yesterday, I finally left with enough gravol to get me through the week. I made it to the gym this morning, and did my normal 52min cardio workout on the elliptical. I bought 7 cases of GG Scandinavian Crisp Bread, and a 390g bag of Baker's Deluxe Hot Cereal Maple flavor and stashed it in my gym locker. I immediately started eating baby carrots (454g bag) the bran crisps and the cereal, which I left cold and just added water. I also drank a powerade zero during my workout to ward off potential light headedness. Unfortunately, I started feeling queasy and dizzy AGAIN. So I ended up having 7+ servings of the cereal (630 cal) and 8 of the fiber bran crackers made thick like granola. Still felt sick. At work I ate more carrots (189cal) , and then I had 2 servings of Elite Dymatize 12 hr protein in rich chocolate (eaten thick like pudding- 129cal *2=258cal), another bran cracker, and I had a protilife chocolate shake packet (60cal) made thick like pudding with copious amounts of PGX granules stirred in. I then went to safeway to grab some cucumbers, tomatoes, canned wax beans and sf jello. I wanted to binge on the instant hot cereal all day. Such sugar cravings. I ate 2 cucumbers (115cal) at home with bamboo shoots (60cal) and crystal light (it tastes fantastic), another shake, Popsicles, sf candies, and for dinner I am having 2 cans of wax beans (35cal each), 1 284ml can of Bamboo shoots (60cal) , can of tuna (83cal), a whole bag of lettuce (44cal), and about 10 sushi seaweed nori sheets (100cal) into which I stuff it all and eat it like a wrap. I also have sf ready to eat jello (10cal), a Roma tomato (25cal), 1/2 red pepper (25cal), and green onions (30cal).

This is definitely NOT a blood sugar issue. One another related note, I officially weigh 110lbs which is 10 lbs higher than my normal. It's from stress eating and eating over 3100 cal for the last few weeks. This dizziness isn't helping, because it freaks me out and I just don't care and stuff my face in an attempt to stabilize my blood sugar (which isn't the issue)- so I'm gaining like crazy and feel horrible.

I've unsuccessfully tried to make an appointment for a walk-in clinic to get a blood test done, but apparently there aren't any clinics near me, and the 2 that are have a 4hr wait time, and it's critical care. So frustrating!!!

Off to go chop veggies...