Sunday picture recap

My fabulous 'HughJass' salad consisting of:
Bell Peppers, Roma tomato, Red leaf and Romaine Lettuce, Pickles, Cucumbers, Tuna is broth (so good!) and spaghetti Tofu Shirataki on the bottom, with 1 Can Bamboo Shoots, 1 can whole wax beans, and salt/pepper with Walden Farms Marinara Sauce, a bit of Honey Dijon on top, mustard, maple syrup and Walden Farms Sweet Jersey Onion dressing. I also had 8 seaweed sheets with it as wrappers (as evidenced by the picture- when I went to grab some they were out of my half cut!).

Protein Cakes #1: Using Allmax Isoflex's Peanut Butter Chocolate Whey Isolate.

Made with Davinci Gourmet Sugar Free Blueberry Syrup and Walden Farms Strawberry Jam.

Made with a mix of DaVinci's SF Vanilla and Caramel Syrups, some cinnamon, and fiber husks.

Protein Cakes (Money Shot) #2. I used all the peanut butter flavored protein, but these were made with the sf cherry syrup, vanilla, and Sf Maple Pancake syrup. AMAZING. And I had my chocolate smoothie too.

Saturday morning quicky.

Good morning! Have you guys ever had a sudden 5am snack attack? I literally woke up and needed to eat. So there I was from 5am-530am dipping lettuce leaves into sugar free blueberry spread (I ate the entire jar). Then I was able to sleep. Weird.

I have been struggling with feelings of self worth, value, independence, self sufficiency, self concept and not feeling loved. Given my current mom/dad estrangement, it's been really tough, knowing what they think of me (that I'm sick, too thin, disordered, need help, not right etc) and trying to ignore it and keep going on with my life. It causes so much stress and anxiety. It's all I think about. I feel like I can't even see myself as I am because I am so afraid of other's judging me, and I view myself through a skewed lens. I am always second guessing myself, and it needs to stop! So this upcoming Tuesday will be 3 weeks of not talking to them (I used to call 3+ times a day). I think I'm going to celebrate. My friend has really been helping me through this, taking me to my blood tests, driving me to all corners of the city looking for grocery stores, and keeping me distracted. I think I would have totally fallen if it weren't for him. Any ADVICE??

I am currently chewing a Fla.-Vor.Ice Lite freezie, and a GG Scandinavian Bran crisp broken into big chunks, doused in sf Maple Pancake Syrup (Sorbee- I'm in love!) and microwaved so it absorbs the syrup and gets all soft and mushy. FABULOUS.

I'm sure the freezie is pretty much toxic dye and aspartame and NOT as tasty as the Mr Freeze sugar free, but a good thing to have! 2 pops have 5 calories, and since I have mindlessly devoured about 35 Mr Freezies A DAY (they are tiny!) these work quite well.

My boss decided to schedule me and I have made it clear I DO NOT work Saturdays. My gym is open from 9-2 today, and I have to BE at work by 9:30am. I told myself that I could use a nice break, but since then (probably as a minor rebellion/ stubborn streak) I have decided to go! Short workout, and I'll just come late. The place doesn't open until 10am and it'll be dead. Then my friend is picking me up and we are either going to a movie, or the comedy club, mystery theatre etc. I want to see Bruno, Harry Potter, FOOD INC (we finally got it!), the brother's bloom, The Hurt Locker etc.

Oh! The rep from Prairie Naturals sent me another 126g MORNING RISE AND SHINE (lemon/aloe/mineral drink). I mix it with my Xenergy (mango guava today). YUMMY. Doesn't mix well, but I like the taste and the lumps, and I love that it's alkalizing!

Pictures

Since I am too tired to actually write, I am just posting a few pics of my protein cakes and smoothie. I didn't black out today, and got part 1 of my blood test results back. My workout was nice and the day was surprising ok. I even walked to the Korean Market after work to pick up my KAEDE seaweed. I didn't blackout today, and no headache either! My sister said the No Doubt concert was amazing, and I still feel so guilty for not going. Loved everyone's posts today, and I will write more later. Spinach Pumpkin Dip and Kombacha pudding recipes to come!

No gym

I've been on a steady, daily workout kick for months and finally decided I need to take a break today. I am actually debating going, and having weird feelings of guilt and anxiety either way. I know I probably could get a decent workout it, but I also know my body needs a break. I am so tired all the time. I had a GG Scandinavian crisp bread broken up, doused in sf pancake syrup and microwaved for 20sec. It's so warm, soft and good! I find that it helps my stomach from feeling acidy in the morning. I then had some greens, and am now eating tuna, canned beans, and an orange bell pepper with seaweed wrappers and salt/pepper.

Sorry for the bad picture- cell phone camera.
Lately I have been OBSESSED by the new Bullet Express 8 minute meal maker. Have you guys seen it? I want it so so bad! It's made by the same ppl who make the magic bullet, but it does EVERYTHING. I also love the Health Master Emulsifier. I want them both!!!
I'm hoping taking a rest day from the gym will give me enough of a break and energy to make it through my day. I left after 3.5hrs yesterday. So bloody tired!!!

Thursday fun

Woke up early, had some Perfect Food and Xenergy, 4Energy, and vits and headed to the gym not knowing what to expect... GREAT WORKOUT! Was on such a high afterwards. I then had my normal post workout fare: Greens+Multi+Vanilla, with Scandinavian Crisp Bread and water. I headed to work, and devoured 2 cans of whole wax beans, 1 cucumber,1/2 a red pepper and baby carrots.

After work I cancelled an appointment, and headed to the gym instead and instead of just grabbing my protein for the night (protein cakes) I decided to relax and bike for 40min. I was a bit light headed so I had 2 GG scandinavian crisp bread, and another scoop of the greens. After the workout I grabbed my protein (BioX Power Whey Iso in Vanilla today) 3 crisp breads, and my packet of protilife.

Had my cuc salad, my protein cakes, and my thick delicious chocolate shake with crumbled crispbread and sugar free pancake syrup on top, and then proceeded to a wonderful dinner:

Romaine, Shiritaki Noodles, Bamboo Shoots, Canned Wax Beans, tuna, salsa, green onions, 1 roma tomato, 1/2 a red pepper, mustard and Walden Farm's Thick'n'spicy BBQ sauce. I had 7 seaweed sushi wrappers with it, and finished off with some sf Mr.Freezies.

Happy Canada Day!

Had today off as it is Canada Day and I definitely needed a break. Woke up early and had to wait until 9am for my gym to open. Went for my cardio and ended up having a wonderful, energized 53 minute cardio workout! After I showered, ate my bran+greens concoction, measured out some protein (IsoSensations 93 in Chocolate Fudge this time) for my protein cakes and went home to eat and get ready to meet my friend for a movie. I ended up scrubbing my kitchen down and then having a light lunch of 2 cans of whole yellow wax beans, 1 can of bamboo shoots with mustard and Walden Farms Bacon Ranch Dip, some baby carrots, 1/2 a red bell pepper, 1/2 a Roma tomato, and 1 cucumber with crystal light, cinnamon, jello and lemon juice. I also had 6 or so Sushi Seaweed wrappers and Mr. Freezies (sugar free).

My canned whole wax beans, baby carrots, mustard, salt pepper and tomato.
Cucumber salad

Canned beans #2 with more baby carrots, and Bacon Ranch Walden Farms Dip.

Canned Bamboo shoots, red pepper,mustard and sushi seaweed sheets.



I went to meet my friend at around 1:20 to go see Public Enemies @ 2pm (LOVE Christian Bale!) but by the time we got there the mall parking lot was packed and the theatre was FULL.


It turned out to be a good thing because we spent the afternoon checking out all the health food stores I haven't visited in years. He drove me to Planet Organic first, then to Sunterra market, Shoppers Drug Mart, London Drugs, Super Drug mart, and finally to Safeway where I bought orange and red peppers, cucumbers, 2 cans of tuna, a 6 pack of Nestle splash pure life water in Grape and another one in raspberry lime, 2 jars of Old Dutch Restaurante Salsas and 4 cans of Whole wax beans.


It looked like it was going to rain and I made it home just in time. He had previously picked me up 3 boxes of Protilife chocolate shake mixes to I was really happy about that.

I made my sweet cucumber concoction, my protein cakes and 'cheesecake' souffle thing:


And then had my usual dinner. All in all, it was a really nice day!