Showing posts with label emotional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional. Show all posts

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Having One Of THOSE Days???

Like everyone else, I have days, or in this case months, where I am not feeling 100%. I am not pleased with how I am dealing with certain things, or I am not giving myself the care that I know I deserve.
As someone who has spent the vast majority of the past 9 yrs deeply involved in the Nutrition Industry, I find that people often assume that I am perfect, and lead by example 100% of the time. They often think that I will be critiquing what they eat, how they lead their lives, exercise, what supplements they take etc. It is as if every statement I make is an all-encompassing judgement on them.
The truth is that I am human, and just like everyone out there, I MESS UP. I get stressed, I stress eat, I am not always 100% "on", I don't always go 150% on my workouts, I eat junk, I struggle with my weight, and yes- I have "fat days".

I often feel worse, because people believe I SHOULD have all the answers. I don't. It is frustrating that I fall prey to the same human behaviours many make when I KNOW BETTER- but the thing is, I'm human. The difference is that I am aware of it; so keenly aware of it, that it sometimes feels as though it is a value judgement on my self worth.

Then I get over it. How? By NOT making a big deal of it. I find the more time and emotion I put into berating myself and thinking about NOT repeating the behaviour, the more it becomes a focus; the more it is on my mind, and the more I engage in the very behaviour that I am trying to avoid.

I have been under a considerable amount of stress recently, and I do not expect it to get much easier any time soon. So I have to accept this and deal with it unless I plan on being miserable for the next 9 months. This is NOT okay by me. Being healthy means MENTALLY, Emotionally, as well as physically.

We need to be healthy in all areas, as they are all interrelated. You can't expect to be happy all the time, but you also can't expect to be happy if you are treating yourself poorly all the time.

Today I propose taking a breather. I have written numerous times about taking a 'geographic' (physical change of environment/geography) be it just going for a walk around your neighborhood, to the grocery store, to the book store, or as is the case for me today: to the mall. Yes I should be focused, researching and working. But I need a distraction first and foremost from the stress that is permitting me from focusing in the first place. I need a distraction from myself, from the stress and the 'you should' voices in my head. And if window shopping achieves that, then so be it. Walking through Chapters, by THE BODY SHOP (their Satsuma Body Butter will uplift your spirit no matter what!), sipping tea @ Starbucks (CALM Tazo tea- very appropriate), listening to the music, trying on ridiculously expensive eye creams and taking advantage of great tester face creams; perusing boutiques and wandering around is exactly what my soul needed today.

 A break to unwind. Permission to DO NOTHING, instead of trying to do everything, and yet getting nothing done. Allowing yourself to procrastinate every once in a while is restorative, and will renew your energy and enthusiasm for life- revive your vigor and hopefully renew your spirit. Renew your belief in yourself that YOU CAN DO IT: you can conquer any challenge that comes your way.  That you will deal with it with dignity, integrity, self-respect, and in a manner which serves to strengthen your inner belief... and in the mean time, if you happen to catch a great sale or buy a little treat for dessert... it won't hurt either ;)



Liberte Greek Yogurt, Sweetener and cinnamon added, with a crumbled Chocolite Cookies and Cream Bite and another Yogurt with the To.Die.For Peanut Butter Patty... highly recommend it. I inhaled 1/2 of the tub before I snapped a picture with my phone. If you see Liberte in stores, I highly recommend giving them a try. I am in the midst of doing a product review, (products do differ from Canada to the States), and am thrilled they don't use any hormones, chemicals, growth regulators ( rBGH free ) etc.
Bar Pnut Btr Cup Patties 2 Pack (16 Per Box) by Chocolite
If you haven't tried CHOCOLITE Products.... go get some NOW!

Yogourt Grec nature 0 %

How do you cope with stress? What stresses you out the most and what events/circumstances cause the most unease? What are your triggers? Do you have a pattern of things (deadlines, certain events, people, fear of not living up, fear of success/failure) that cause you to feel less than "100%" and fall prey to certain behaviors? How does this affect and effect you?
What has allowed you to "move on" and stop these thoughts/behaviours and turn things around?
What are some of your best "distractions" and ways to get your mind off of things?

I would like to add that if you are really feeling low, and are having a hard time coping PLEASE seek some help and talk to someone.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Grocery, tantrums and tearful workouts..

I woke up beyond cranky today. You know the type of mind numbing-overwhelmed exhaustion that overwhelms you and pushes you past your breaking point? I may have burst into tears about 3x before 9am. I am so tired. Mentally, emotionally: I feel like I have nothing more to give. Apparently, this is not the case as physically (though being more sore and tight in the hips/legs and shoulders than I've been in a long time), I pounded out a pretty decent workout this morning, given my current state. I make a teething, sleep deprived, sugar crashing 2 year old look like Buddah.

 I also MAY have burst into tears when the trainer at the gym mentioned that I looked tired. I did apologize in advance to EVERYONE- I said "I'm sorry-I'm a mess. I'm beyond drained, anxious and I am just exhausted and irritable; I really need to sleep and rest'. Of course the mind always makes things worse, but this constant stress, uncertainty and anxiety is killing me. I worry 24/7. I AM SO FRAZZLED! I feel like I am running a 'mental marathon' every single day. Just worrying, running...

She said 'You should go lie down, get some sleep' to which I tearfully replied 'Don't you think I know that!!?? I would if I could. I can't. I'm too tired'. lol. I wasn't sobbing, or actually crying. Just that overwhelmed, frustrated, tears falling from eyes type of release/hysteria. I kept telling myself 'quit whining- you're just tired and overwhelmed. You are blessed and have every reason to be happy- you're okay" all morning. Usually, doing something nice for other's, or giving them a nice comment helps- but nothing could put me at ease this morning. Believe me, I tried. I hate feeling this frustrated and whiny!

When I got to the gym and turned the TV on, a rerun of this AMAZING Documentary came on! One of my main interests is International Relations, Human Rights and anything to do with Africa, the Middle East, discrimination, suffering, inequality etc. I cannot stand knowing that people are suffering. Anyways, as an answer to my prayers, this documentary on Doc Zone called 'In The Cross Fire" about Louise Arbour (She is the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights) came on and although it didn't help my depressed mood, it certainly solidified the knowledge of how GOOD WE HAVE IT! It reinforced my belief that I am stupid lucky and am so grateful for how good I have it. Let me tell you- I know NOTHING of suffering (although it's all relative!) compared with the amazing people who survived the Genocide, who live in fear DAILY, compared to the Lost Boys of Sudan , the people of Darfur. You want to know what resiliance is?! Learn about what they are going through.

Anyways, I was so tired today that I literally stopped walking in Costco because I couldn't even move or keep my eyes open. My friend was really supportive today, and I actually had a really pleasant day!


Here are some groceries from the day:


 New brand of radishes! Hopefully these will stay fresher longer than the brand Wholesale used to sell! This is my weekly case of 14 packs or radishes (455g)

6 bags of Dole Chopped Romaine (907g), 1 bag of Dole Coleslaw, 1 small bag of Fresh Express 454g Coleslaw, 2 bag fulls of bulk Jumbo White Mushrooms, 5 1.2kg bags of Celery, 1.9L jug of Salsa, President's Choice Diet Lemonade,

Cucumbers, 2 more packs of celery, 4L jug of Sunspun Mustard.

I have to regress and rant a bit here: Leaving the gym, the security guard (whom I always talk to and love) started lecturing ME on amino acids and totally saying things that weren't true. I am a nutritionist and supplement consultant. I was so irritable and it GOT UNDER MY SKIN. I actually raised my voice and said 'THIS IS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING and NO they DO NOT do that, don't tell me what to do' (yes I am three yrs old again). I know this is overreacting. I am fully aware of this. But I already am feeling low, and this makes me feel worse (that he doesn't take me seriously/respect me/ and I feel like I'm not validated and have to prove myself). I hate when people tell me things I know (not events, but try to 'educate' me). I find it so UNDERMINING. Again, just irritable, raw, sensitive and exhausted today. Uncertainty makes me feel so insecure; it's my problem not anyone elses'. Feeling loads better now. I need a good night sleep and hopefully my brain can function again tomorrow!

I am having my nightly dessert of a pack of GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread, Protishake/ice cream (Vanilla Protilife Shake) , tons of Davinci SF Syrup (German Chocolate Cake, French Vanilla and Caramel), Walden Farms Pancake Syrup, Walden Farms Blueberry Syrup and Walden Farms Apricot Jam.

 
 Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. --Frank A. Clark