Sunday, June 27, 2010

Weird little things about the body

Weirdest thing happened this morning- I woke up before 6am hot and sweaty (bay GLASS windows facing east in an already hot apartment are conducive to heat strokes and crappy sleep) and felt this weird wired up panicked 'don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself' kind of feeling that leads to eating remaining cake/cabbage rolls/pizza (whatever is in the fridge) etc in an attempt to kill time.

You know that feeling- we've all had it. You're waiting for it to be later, but too tired for anything really. Last night I listened to an interesting online seminar and although I wasn't really listening to it, I must have absorbed some of it via osmosis. I knew I was frustrated and attempting to distract myself from what I was really feeling. Plus, I was HOT and yucky from the sun baring down on me through the glass. I had some crudités (aka Ranch River Celery and 2 Red Bell Peppers), and attempted to type out an article on Holy Basil  (I will post it later) for you guys. I then got tired and thought it best to go lie down because it was still early and I had about another hr before I wanted to get up.

This DEEP foggy I can't move my legs/eyes or pinkie sleep came over me. Even when I wanted to get up to go to the bathroom I couldn't. I was in some fog. This exhaustion just WIPED ME OUT. I finally got up @ 9:20am and am feeling a bit calmer, more assured and more positive than I have in the last few days.

So did I face the issues? Not really, but I allowed myself to just REST and I remember telling myself somewhere in the midst of this oblivion 'It's okay- I'm hurting'.

This sleep reminded me to TAKE IT EASY and that I am mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically exhausted- and stressing on top of that isn't helping.
The best analogy I can give is that like a computer, my body just POWERED DOWN. It got over heated and just shut down.

I am drinking at ice cold Cherry Lime Xenergy, taking my morning supplements and focusing on NOT getting anxious.

Lesson in all of this- we are NOT in charge, our bodies are. No matter how much we push them, run them dry, abuse them and think we are getting the rest we need; They will tell us otherwise and the body will tell them mind to SHUT.IT.DOWN.

I know I have a long ways to go. I know that it is mental exhaustion from constant worries, anxiety and racing thoughts. I feel like I just ran a marathon for the mind. I think I learned that I truly need to stop pretending that I am 100% ON. Trying to please EVERYONE (weekend friend, family) and act a certain way. I also need to learn to say NO for my mental sanity, and slow things down. rest. get out and enjoy the sun. Currently listening to All Time Low's "SICK LITTLE GAMES' and getting my energy on to get up!
I'm off to the gym for what could be a VERY interesting (read: my legs aren't functioning due to heat and just woken up feeling) workout.

I think I may go see a movie (cheap theatre), go exchange ROTTING groceries (is it too much to ask that when you buy produce that it doesn't go bad WAY BEFORE the expiration date??!!), and just take it easy. Tomorrow is a stressful day and no matter how much I try to ignore that fact, obviously the body and mind are smarter and harder to distract and fool than I thought!


  1. Awww..... I love being hot! My parents BLAST the air conditioning in our house.... getting up is hell because its sooooo cold!!! I guess sweaty is not so nice though....

  2. you could be hyper metabolic! its a symptom! anyhow I hate waking up in a pool of sweat, I hate sweat period. I'm a yoga instructor but I will not do those hot and sweaty classes. bleh! its like a giant commercial for degree!
    Anyhow, sunday is meant for taking it easy, we all need it for our well being.
    PS. I know, how awesome was "how to train your dragon"? I want it on dvd!

  3. " I focused on NOT getting anxious"....

    you are still FOCUSING on anxiety!! the universe does not understand negatives eg the word "NOT" -- all it hears is "anxiety..anxiety..oh you want anxiety?..i will give you more!!..."

    instead, focus on what you WANT. eg "I am present. I accept perfect calm and health. My life is full of miracles and opportunity!" Smile and be warm and loving and FEEL it. You will be surprised how much a difference it can make.