Magic Salvation.

I forgot to let you all know....that I now have the MAGIC BULLET SINGLE SHOT! My friend bought it for me because I wouldn't stop whining that mine was on its' last leg. I was afraid it was a cheaper version (cheaper motor/base or plastic) but it looks identical. And yes, I did spend days reading all reviews and trying to find out if they are identical. They are! Single shot is BLACK and only comes with the cross blade (which I use all the time anyways) 1 big cup, and 2 party mugs. I don't really care because I STILL HAVE EXTRAS IN THE WRAPPER IN MY ORIGINAL BULLET EXPRESS BOX! I have extra flat blades, extra cups, the book etc. The parts are interchangable! I really want the platinum pro magic bullet (it's the brand new one) and it's 40% more powerful etc. The parts aren't interchangable because the platinum is bigger. It actually looks really nice and sleek!!!

Feeling so sick since yesterday. I'm going to try for the gym, but if I don't feel better I am going to most likely vomit all over the place. BOO. I stuffed myself post dinner with about400 cal worth of crap because I thought I'd feel better. As Julie would say, FAIL!!! I felt worse and this morning the nausea and headache is hurting like an SOB. Why did I think stuffing myself would help? It wasn't a lack of eating and blood sugar issue. I've been OVER eating lately from stress. I honestly think that instead of blood, I have advil liquid or liquid motrin running through me.

I'll update soon!

Also, THANK YOU for still reading regardless of my lack of pictures and updates. I didn't think anyone cared and it is so nice when someone comments (thank you Julie). It gave me hope, and hopefully things will start getting better!!!!

Adrenal Exhaustion + stress not a good combo!

Happy Friday Everyone!

I am currently eating some GG fiber sprinkles on top of left over protein ice cream I made last night. So good.

I think that I am literally killing myself by feeling so stressed, worn out, and putting pressure on myself to impress other people (who don't give a sh*# about me- and purposefully disregard any work I do to upset me). Work is the main cause, but I got through it yesterday. I had today off, but my manager asked me to come in and open, as he needs a day off.

I've been working out steadily, but my knee, IT BAND, ACL and ankle have been hurting more and more- even though I'm popping Motrin (doesn't work) or Advil every morning.

Still haven't talked to the family (over 2 months now?) however, yesterday I called to ask if I could help pay for my sisters dance classes.... I did this out of the goodness of my heart and was trying to be helpful. I got cussed out like you wouldn't believe. I got called names, and totally kicked down and torn apart. Love you too mom!!!

I deserved it though- I knew better than to try to lower myself and wear my heart on my sleeve.

In terms of eats- I've been going through a copious amount of seaweed nori folded up and dipped into jams, salsas, mayo etc. Like 50 a day!! I love the KAEDE brand (half cuts and full sheets) and eating my Pickled Daikon (Japanese Radish) as well. Due to financial constraints I haven't been buying my favorite tuna (Goldseal smoked light in water- beyond amazing) but using the Admiral Tuna in broth (good) and GENERIC Superstore flaked tuna!!! I would never eat this before due to it being 120 cal, whereas the Admiral is 96cal and Goldseal is 86. Now it seems like no big deal. I'm surprised @ how much I like the Superstore brand. Great quality and taste!

I'm still going through Salsa like there is no tomorrow and having my protilife icecream and 2 shakes every night as dessert. I've made my cakes, but was eating too much before so I cut them out for a few days. The reason I was stress eating?? Besides the obvious stress and need for distraction, I got somewhat addicted to Ultimate Nutrition Chewable Aminos (vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and banana). They get stuck all over your teeth, and aren't exactly the tastiest thing ever- but they grow on you. I mindlessly nibbled on over 60 a day just to ease anxiety. 3 chews are 18cal/4.5g protein.

My fave grocery store salsa (Old Dutch Restaurante in Medium) is still my favorite, but due to the volume I eat I have been buying the HUGE tub sized ones. Old Dutch doesn't come in huge tubs, so I've beem experimenting. I'm loving El Restaurante Original. Not vinegary at all! Pace was a huge vinegary overload- but their picante was decent.

Today is gym, work, buy some Xenergy's (cause I have NO energy), pick up my special order of 48 cans of Admiral light flaked tuna from Rexall pharmacy (I shit you not) and eat. I just want to make it through the day. Gym is causing anxiety- so tired and BLAH I don't want to go- but always feel better afterwards.

At least manager won't be in today. Less pressure. Although flaky, ignorant and truly annoying and dumb co-worker will! BOO!! You've got to watch yourself around her and not trust her whatsoever. She is a total suck up to the manager and has no discretion at all in telling him stuff you told her. Plus she tries to steal all my friends. Don't ask. STRESS.

Have a wonderful Friday! Can't wait to read all your weekend posts!

Anxiety!!! help

Hello everyone.
I know it's been awhile with a post, but I am freaking out and on the verge of a real panic attack. I texted my boss that I am not feeling well and would like a rest day. I have been killing myself @ work, trying to impress him. I mean going ABOVE and beyond. He didn't even notice. He texted me back a while later, and just wrote 'Call me at the store later- I need to ask you something'. That was all. I wrote back and said 'Ok. I hope I didn't mess something up'. No response.

I am near nervous break down. I am a paranoid person who seeks approval from older figures in order to feel self worth. Ever since that text I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have been making it worse by going over all the worst case scenarios, over thinking what I will be asked etc. My stomach is in knots, and I feel light headed with worry. If it was just a common normal question, he would have sent me a text message. I realize I am only making it worse, and shouldn't stress until I talk to him, but I hate vague and ominous sounding statements.

I think he is running late today, but generally he should be there in about 5 min. I think I will try calling @ 9:40am (14min from now) because we open at 10am.

I am so scared, I can't even put it into words. I have tears running down my face, and I feel sick to my stomach with fear. I will update as soon as I talk to him. This is something I SO do NOT need right now. My adrenals are stressed as it is.

What do you guys do in tough situations, when you don't know what's going on- but you know it's not good? Or when you are worried about something? Any advice would be so appreciated right now. I feel so alone and worthless.

Infomercial Maddness

At the gym this morning I caught two back to back infomercial episodes of the BULLET EXPRESS! I'm a happy girl! But it gets even better! I got home around 10:45am and right now-11am the Bullet Express infomercial is ON AGAIN! So I'm eating and watching!! Happy days!!!

I will post pics later, as I work @ the sugar free shop today. Hope you guys are doing well!

My LOVE (Bullet Express) & Rainy cold days in August...

Rainy and cold is NOT what one thinks of in August. However, that is exactly what we've been having for the last 2 weeks. I like it- it sets the mood, washes the dirt away, and it's actually cool enough for me to sleep!!! I live in an apartment with HUGE bay windows, and heat controlled climate. The thermometer doesn't work. In summer, it is CRAZY HOT. As in +30c and it's actually colder outside than inside. I sleep with a fan blowing on me 24/7. No jokes. The windows are open, and I barely sleep. Today I actually put a blanket on because I was cold. There is also a furnace that runs under the window where my bed is- so no matter what, it's usually warm.

Today I'm going to take it easy. Gym, eat, eat ....eat... and then my friend is picking me up and we are going to run errands. I almost had a panic attack this morning, as my account has $16 left in it! I need groceries!!!

Also, travesty of the BIGGEST kind occurred yesterday. ALL I've been talking about is the BULLET EXPRESS 8 MINUTE MEAL MAKER (click on link and you will be hooked!) (I obsessively watch the infomercial and love it) because I NEED this! I love the magic bullet, but this is completely different. It chops, shreds, makes shaved ice, meat load, cheese cake, shreds cheese, apple pie, spews out perfectly uniformly chopped veggies, and comes with a free juicer. I have watched the infomercial over 80x (not kidding). It makes the best pie crusts, or anything you want. It's like a food processor,blender, chopper, slicer, shredder, juicer, sno-cone maker etc all in one. You can put in turkey or skinless chicken breast (raw) add seasoning and blend- making your own fat free high protein meat loaf!! Everything is 8min or less!! I know, I sound like I"m trying to sell it, but I love and want it soo much. I am convinced that true happiness lies with this contraption. It saves so much time (prep) and makes any meal ready to heat or eat in 8 min or less, and they all go into the pan or dish you're planning to bake/eat from!!! Shredded chicken, tofu slices like shredded cheese, tomatoes etc. Fruit salad, grinds anything!!

This is what you get (pasted directly from the website- click on link):

The Meal Maker Express attachment is used for slicing and shredding a variety of vegetables, fruits, meats and cheeses in just seconds.
The Meal Mixer Express #2 attachment is used for a variety of functions including mixing, blending, chopping, mincing, ice crushing, etc. at bullet speeds.

Yes, I am in love with an electric appliance. I have already emailed the company, and have not heard back after 1.5 months. They are notorious for bad service.

Anyways, I sent the link to all my friends (I'm obsessed) and made them watch it. Long story short, my friend decided to buy one for me and surprise me with it to cheer me up. He stopped off @ the 'As seen on TV' store, (even though I told him it's only available through their website, or infomercial) and asked for the bullet express. They sold him the MAGIC BULLET BLENDER EXPRESS 17 piece set!! and NO RETURNS!!!!! He over paid for it BIG TIME and it's the wrong product.

What I can't understand is HOW he could mix them up? He's seen the infomercial clip on the website (unless he lied) and they look nothing alike? I also told him numerous times that the MAGIC bullet is a totally different item, and that there is no 'magic' in the bullet express name.

Then my bullet motor malfunctioned... But I think he's going to keep the magic bullet for himself. I'm glad he has it, as I assured him it will change his life, but I truly was heart broken. Not kidding. I almost hyperventilated with happiness, until he told me WHERE he bought it. I've been depressed since. How sad is that? I am so touched by the fact that he even intended to do something so thoughtful and nice. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.

Have you seen the infomercial yet? How you're not limited to the size of the bowl, because it spews it out into whatever bowl you want? And they make the HUGEST Huge Jass salad EVER? I chop 2 cuc's a day, and this would be a God send! You just feed it in the top, and it PERFECTLY spits out chopped/sliced veggies from the spout. You guys have to check it out.

Anyways, sorry this is SOOO long. I need BEA (Bullet Express Anonymous) or some other intervention recovery program. I even dreamt about this!

Wish me luck getting GENERIC superstore no name, or walmart canned wax beans. I get paid Thursday, but since I was on bed rest for 2 weeks, I will be getting nothing and I need to finish paying rent. PANIC

Protein cakes and creamy protein goodness from Wednesday

So here are the picture I meant to post yesterday. I haven't been taking as many pics of my meals because a, I'm lazy and have mono so energy is LOW 2, My cell phone takes forever to send it to my email so I can save them, and then upload to my blog. 3, Pictures DRAIN the sh*$ outta my cell battery!!!
- But mostly I am just lazy.

These proticakes (this is batch 1- I always make 2 shakes and 8 cakes before dinner) were made with Allmax's Isoflex Protein in Peanut Butter Chocolate. YUM! BioX is still my favorite, but for these cakes the Isoflex or IsoSensations 93 by Ultimate Nutrition work the best. Each "batch' has 4 little proticakes (I only have 4 ramekin type bowls) and I make 2 shakes per batch. Thank Goodness for Natural Factors Slim Styles PGX GRANULES! Makes it SO thick and creamy and you can see in the pictures. I always add crumbled GG Bran crisps on top, and sf pancake syrup, mix it in and let it get soft. Lately I've been cutting up the proticakes and putting chunks into the shake and letting it soak up and get soggy. FANTASTIC. It ends up being like a big bread/cake pudding. I've also been freezing about 4TB (per batch so 6-8 for the 2 shakes) into ice cream in my weirdly shaped Ramekin that I never use (it's curved).




Proticake with sf blueberry syrup and sf raspberry jam!

Note creamy goodness with sf syrup on top! Do you see how smooth thick and creamy???!

SOOOOOOOOOOO Good! thick and creamy and perfect!

My last proticake without any fiber to fluff it. Tastes kind of like cheesecake. There's sf syrup on top and some of my protishake. YUM
Here is the protein used for the proticakes. Ignore that tub to the left that says "whey'. I hate that company. Never buy anything that just says 100% whey. That indicates it's most likely a Whey Concentrate (as opposed to Whey Isolate) or a mix of the 2. CHEAP. If it's an isolate if will usually have "ISO" somewhere in the name of the product (ex. ISOflex, ISOsensations 93, Power Whey Isolate, ISO-XP, IsoBurst etc).

Tuesday ONLY

Happy Tuesday!

I woke up groggy, late and with the reminants of last nights migraine. Before I could get the 'lazy' mindset going, I threw clothes off of the floor on, caffinated myself (hello Xenergy, 4Energy pills, BioBurn D2T and SQ extreme) and walked to the gym. It wasn't the best high intensity energized workout, but I pushed through and am so glad I went.

I just finished eating my gargantuan lunch and also had 1 serving of my morning cereal, bran cookies, 4 sugar free taffy's and 10 mini sugar free jelly bellies! The pina colada is so good!

Now I'm waiting to here from my little sister if she would grace me with her presence so I can take her to go see Julie & Julia. She 'doesn't know if she wants to yet' (ie. I may have better things to do). I'm giving her another min and then I'm calling her again. UPDATE: We are going!

What did you guys think of the movie? I love LOVE Meryl Streep, and I like food..... How could I not want to see this?????





I had to post another picture of "the couch'. This is one my friend sent me after I forced him to drive over and see it. He was shocked. Unfortunately, Monday it was taken away by the friendly city garbage people.

Sunday (insanity) and THE GREAT COUCH

Hello everyone!

I am going to have a crazy day, and most likely won't be able to post later. I'm dragging my ass to the gym @ 9am, showering, eating my post workout protein oats, grabbing the paper and heading home to EAT! My friend is picking me a little after 11:30am to drop me off at work (I work 1-2 a month on Sunday's to help out- plus I get to load up on all my healthy sugar free goodies!) and I am there until 5. My other friend is picking me up and I want to go pick up my baby sister @ the airport. My parent's are probably going and I'm not sure I can make it with work. Parent's are also a mitigating factor.

I did the majority of my grocery shopping yesterday, because I knew I'd be stressed today and wanted to get home early. Mono takes a lot out of you. Everything exhausts you and the recovery takes longer that normal.

Which I suppose is making everyone wonder "Are you still going to the gym"???...

I know, I know!!!!!!! It's a stupid idea and I'm supposed to be on bed rest. However it's my sanity. I love it as much as I hate it. I get anxious if I don't go and then typically treat myself like shit and eat like crap all day to numb myself. For me, it's this stubborn "I'll show them' kind of mentality. You know you shouldn't, and because of that you push much harder just to show you can do it, and you are tough and won't give up. It's a sign that I haven't given up yet and that I'm still fighting. Then it takes me literally 1.5 days to recover.

We might stop and get some groceries, but nothing major. I have been OBSESSED with Salsa lately. I'm using 1 jar a day minimum! I'm loving the Old Dutch Restaurante!! I bought a HUGE Pace Picante salsa yesterday as well (sale) but it is a lot more 'vinegary' than the one I love. It's not bad though. Mrs.Renfrew's is also good.

I need to load up on my Baker's Deluxe Hot Instant Cereal (which I mix with sf Davinci syrup and eat cold), my GG Bran Crisps, DaVinci, Walden Farms, Belgium Black Licorice Cats, and some other things.

As a parting picture I must post this stunning, jaw dropping and shocking couch that someone left in the back of my apartment. I have taken 4 pictures of it as evidence. It just may be the ugliest 7o's couch I have ever seen. It's so bad, it's almost good. I wanted to take it just because it was bad, but obviously didn't.

BEHOLD THE GREAT COUCH:

Sorry it's been SO long!

(Protein thick creamy chocolate shake, with cinnamon, ice,sf vanilla  and english toffee syrup with Maple Baker's Deluxe  Sweet sprinkled on top!- best dessert ever x2)

Hi everyone!


Sorry about being a horrible blogger! I am EXHAUSTED and nauseous to no end! I have been reading all your posts and commenting, but to actually make a concerted effort to chronicle my day, thoughts, ideas, recipes.... it's too much right now. Mono has become the bane of my existence.



I absolutely loved Julie's post called "Battlefield' (Now the Jordan Sparks song is stuck in my head lol) and so many of you have been reviewing products that I have wanted to put a post up about for years- but feel too sick. Here are some eats from my last few days. I've also been making fantastic 'protein ice cream' from my protilife shakes and generally sitting on my butt and eating. BOO!!!

Inside of Baker's Deluxe (Dixie Diner's in the USA) bag.

Microwaved mini bowl or Baker's Deluxe and  blueberry
SF syrup . I had about 10 of these.



I really want to start doing reviews etc. I have been asked by numerous people to write a cookbook, as I have some crazy inventive creative ideas. I also have a friend that wants me to speak at a convention about health?! I don't know if I"m up for that yet!

Stay in touch! I will definitely be blogging more!