Friday, August 28, 2009

Adrenal Exhaustion + stress not a good combo!

Happy Friday Everyone!

I am currently eating some GG fiber sprinkles on top of left over protein ice cream I made last night. So good.

I think that I am literally killing myself by feeling so stressed, worn out, and putting pressure on myself to impress other people (who don't give a sh*# about me- and purposefully disregard any work I do to upset me). Work is the main cause, but I got through it yesterday. I had today off, but my manager asked me to come in and open, as he needs a day off.

I've been working out steadily, but my knee, IT BAND, ACL and ankle have been hurting more and more- even though I'm popping Motrin (doesn't work) or Advil every morning.

Still haven't talked to the family (over 2 months now?) however, yesterday I called to ask if I could help pay for my sisters dance classes.... I did this out of the goodness of my heart and was trying to be helpful. I got cussed out like you wouldn't believe. I got called names, and totally kicked down and torn apart. Love you too mom!!!

I deserved it though- I knew better than to try to lower myself and wear my heart on my sleeve.

In terms of eats- I've been going through a copious amount of seaweed nori folded up and dipped into jams, salsas, mayo etc. Like 50 a day!! I love the KAEDE brand (half cuts and full sheets) and eating my Pickled Daikon (Japanese Radish) as well. Due to financial constraints I haven't been buying my favorite tuna (Goldseal smoked light in water- beyond amazing) but using the Admiral Tuna in broth (good) and GENERIC Superstore flaked tuna!!! I would never eat this before due to it being 120 cal, whereas the Admiral is 96cal and Goldseal is 86. Now it seems like no big deal. I'm surprised @ how much I like the Superstore brand. Great quality and taste!

I'm still going through Salsa like there is no tomorrow and having my protilife icecream and 2 shakes every night as dessert. I've made my cakes, but was eating too much before so I cut them out for a few days. The reason I was stress eating?? Besides the obvious stress and need for distraction, I got somewhat addicted to Ultimate Nutrition Chewable Aminos (vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and banana). They get stuck all over your teeth, and aren't exactly the tastiest thing ever- but they grow on you. I mindlessly nibbled on over 60 a day just to ease anxiety. 3 chews are 18cal/4.5g protein.

My fave grocery store salsa (Old Dutch Restaurante in Medium) is still my favorite, but due to the volume I eat I have been buying the HUGE tub sized ones. Old Dutch doesn't come in huge tubs, so I've beem experimenting. I'm loving El Restaurante Original. Not vinegary at all! Pace was a huge vinegary overload- but their picante was decent.

Today is gym, work, buy some Xenergy's (cause I have NO energy), pick up my special order of 48 cans of Admiral light flaked tuna from Rexall pharmacy (I shit you not) and eat. I just want to make it through the day. Gym is causing anxiety- so tired and BLAH I don't want to go- but always feel better afterwards.

At least manager won't be in today. Less pressure. Although flaky, ignorant and truly annoying and dumb co-worker will! BOO!! You've got to watch yourself around her and not trust her whatsoever. She is a total suck up to the manager and has no discretion at all in telling him stuff you told her. Plus she tries to steal all my friends. Don't ask. STRESS.

Have a wonderful Friday! Can't wait to read all your weekend posts!

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