Friday, October 23, 2009

Fall Friday!

Happy Friday!

I woke up with a throbbing head and THROBBING ankle. They were actually throbbing in unison. Not kidding. I am heading to the gym (obviously) and then to work; luckily irritating co-worker is off today! She did however inform me that she will be 'stopping by'... joy.

I need to stay strong today and not fall apart or get off track. I haven't had a protilife shake in about a month!! I end up overeating all day, and then don't have one. I miss my protilife chocolate ice cream!!! I really hope I "earn" one today.

I have also decided that I am going to go on anti-anxiety meds... because the anxiety/panic/fear is crippling me. The Dr. prescribed something other than the Ativan (which I wanted) due to its' high addiction rate. The stuff he prescribed has the worst side effects-nausea, dizziness, stomach pain (stuff which I specifically asked him about- and he denied!!!) and weight gain. I promised myself YEARS ago that I would NEVER go back on Ativan again... but since these circumstances are a bit different.... or a lot different, I think I won't abuse them. I'm not so much trying to numb myself as I am just trying to get through the day.

Gym was great this morning!!! Work was nice, mostly because a dear friend whom I've been avoiding (I feel self conscious) stopped by to pick up protein and took me out for tea. We spent 50min talking and it was so pleasant and nice!! Totally made my day. I felt really vomity when I got home, nauseous and light headed (despite eating) but I'm feeling better now.

Here is dinner:
3 cans wax beans, 340g of broccoli slaw, Goldseal Smoked Light Tuna, 2 tomato's, green onion, Chopped romaine (610g), 28 seaweed wrappers, salsa, 8 GG Scandinavian Crisps and jello. Before I had coleslaw, cucumber sweet/sour salad, etc.

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