Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tuesday 2

I had truly a weird 'out of body' sort of day/week. I binged at work on Renew Life's Fiber Smart again. 500 calories... I also majorly binged on my bran crispbread. It's like I'm shovelling down pain, fear and anxiety. I am so ashamed of myself. I could really use some support, someone to talk to etc, but it's hard. I often feel like I can't be honest because you will all think I'm weird and unstable. That is not the case. We all struggle. I am a professional 26 year old female that is dealing (or 'not dealing') with a lot of emotions, pain and trying to suppress them, keep my head up and get through life. I am so ashamed of my binge eating. I read all your blogs, about your significant others, your families (my fam is the cause of all my pain) and so want your lives. No one has a perfect life, but you guys give me something to do, and so much hope and inspiration. Thank you to everyone. I hope to meet some of you one day, and become friends as well.


  1. What an honest post! I just found your blog through HEAB's. I understand your pain - I am not 'crazy' either - professional, 28, but I binge ALOT - and it's hard reading about how 'perfect' some of these blogs are with regards to eating and choices and portion control...I'm learning to not beat myself up over it so much - sometimes it's easier to just go with the flow and not fight the resistance...maybe the more you accept it without feeling guilty will start to make it happen less ;) I'll keep up with ya girl. Check out my blog or add me to your roll if you wish :)

  2. Hey Barbara!!

    Thanks for the sweet comment. You are too cute.

    My eating has been up and down and all around. I know what binges feel like and they certainly aren't fun. There's definitely a lot you don't see on blogs though. Once in awhile you'll read a post where a blogger talks about food/weight/body image issues and that's when you realize they are a real person with real life problems. We all have insecurities they just come in different flavors.

    As for the bingeing, I've been all over the map with restriction and bingeing. You have to dig deep and figure out what's causing them. More often than not, it's not that you're hungry. It may take awhile to figure it out. One method my dietician had me use was journaling. Sit down at night (or whenever) and just pour out your emotions by either writing or typing. You can write to someone (even me!!) or just yourself. Your entires should reveal something about where your emotions/pain is coming from. Try it out.

    Also there are a bunch of books that are really helpful. Geneen Roth is especially great. I read 3 of her books and her advice still runs through my head from time to time. Her book 'Breaking Free from Emotional Eating' is one I would definitely check out.

    Sorry this is so long!! I should have just emailed you :) Happy Holidays!!!