Happy New Years!

Today started off with a great workout, then dread as to what I should do with my day. I ended up getting picked up by S. He brought up the subject of 'US' again via TEXT. He is such a pathetic coward. He said he wants to talk about it in the New Year before it DAMAGES us. I told him it's his call and he already damaged it. Our grocery run went fine. We ended up @ Planet Organic where I got AMAZING GRASS SUPER FOODS in CHOCOLATE! 5 spices, Simply Natural Black Bean/Corn Salsa, another Planet Organic reusable bag and a drink! Here is a picture of my goods- and yes, that is an Atkinson's sugar free Chik'o'stick on the left side resting on top of the spice!!!

I immediately made my Chocolate Brownie Batter with my GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread!

And FINALLY a picture of my syruped, microwaved, cinnamoned, sweetened PGX'd bowl of pancake syrup, crumbled bran crispbread goodness!! I had 1.5 entire packets! YUM

Here is dinner:

I am eating the rest of my crisp bread, drinking tea, and about to watch Josh Groban!

Wednesday part DEUX!

My workout today was good again- but I was so tired I couldn't really push myself. My legs felt energized and strong, but the rest of me was DEAD. I did my normal 54min and burned 522cal/5.48 miles. I stayed at work up til 5pm and then stopped by Starbucks to sample their NEW TEA. This tea DOES NOT COME OUT UNTIL JAN 12 but I'm friends with all the staff so they immediately made me one. It is ORANGE BLOSSOM and it is in the loose leaf teabags (like Mighty Leaf teas). They discontinued the TAZO Wild Sweet Orange, so this is replacing it. The bags look so nice!

Because I haven't been posting as much, I keep forgetting to update on all the NEW products and things I've gotten! I have gotten 14 new bowls! One is a 7QT glass bowl, then I got a Luminarc 6QT glass bowl, 2 anchor 4QT bowls, and a bunch of 'soup' sized bowls in different glazes etc. I also go 6 mixing bowls!

I am eating my GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread with sf pancake syrup (Sorbee's)and Walden Farm's Pancake Syrup, Davinci sf syrups (assorted flavors), sweetnlow, cinnamon, and PGX granules. Microwaved and topped with a bit of WF Calorie Free Chocolate Dip (with sweetener and cinnamon mixed in). I'm about to make dinner.

Thought I would include this picture of the BEAUTIFUL snowflake shaped ball that hangs between my work and the connecting mall.


These are cell phone pictures taken through the glass in Starbucks. They DO NOT do it justice. It is so much brighter and more beautiful.

WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to get to bed early, but am so exhausted from these past few months that I couldn't wake up. I was in that foggy exhausted daze. It is 706am now... running late for the gym.
I am trying out a new thermo this morning: The NEW formula of Xenedrine Xtreme FX. I really liked the one they had 3 weeks ago... and then they changed it up and I don't like the formulation as much anymore. I am going to test it out and see.

I miss the original Cytolean from Gaspari. I have been leaving my phone on vibrate or silent 'preventatively' so I don't have to deal with S. I have got to figure this out. Work was DEAD yesterday and I made so little money $18... That is more stress. But other than that, I am happy. Very blessed and grateful for what I have!!

I packed a bag (340g) of broccoli slaw, a can of green whole beans, 2 bags of radishes (455g each)and some WF dressing packets I had laying around. I will update later.

Hope in Tuesday

I ended up getting out of bed @ 11:47pm to go eat something. I wish I had more of my GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread with me. I needed something dry. I ended having 2 large zucchinis peeled and seasoned with cinnamon, and Sweet'n Low and microwaved for 4 minutes. The other 1/2 I just loaded with my new seasoning: Johnny's Lemon Pepper! Also microwaved. I also ate a yellow bell pepper. Needless to say I got less than 5hrs of sleep. I feel so out of it lately. Planning on going to Coles/Chapters after work. Headed to the gym now, then work, where I am working with my FAVORITE co-worker! I love this girl!!! I also need to see if the mall I'm near has a calendar club this year. They are doing MAJOR renovations, so 80% is shut down. I have a slight calendar obsession.
I want to see NINE and Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus. I have seen Sherlock Holmes, It's Complicated, Avatar etc. There are matinees playing downtown due to holidays (other theatres are always open during the day, just the 4 downtown aren't-evenings only and weekends, unless it's summer holidays and winter break).

UPDATE: felt so nauseated this morning. Workout was okay. work was frustrating. Deciding whether or not to text "S" was even more stressful.

I am probably going to see Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus with my friend Patrick tomorrow.... unless he has to work again (lawyer) or sue someone...

I am stuffed, tired, cranky, and STRESSED! My hair has been falling out ridiculously. I literally SHED. I also took sheers to my hair this morning and lopped off an inch or so. I always wear it up in a pony tail, so I don't really care if it's uneven. At least the split ends are kind of gone...
Good night!

Best Zucchini Slice Chips EVER

You can make these into 'chips' or make them spicy using cayenne, cajun seasoning, pepper, roast chicken seasoning or ANY spices you have:

Sweet Zucchini Slices/Chips:
1.Peel as many zucchini's as you want.
2.Cut into slices
3.Toss in a mixture of cinnamon (or pumpkin pie spice) and sweetener (stevia, splenda, sugar, sweet and low, sugar twin etc)
4. Microwave (or broil/bake) until you get your desired 'texture' (more for chips, less for soft)
5.ENJOY serve with sf Pancake syrup or jam!

This is the WORST picture ever. Sorry! I love microwaving burning broccoli, cauliflower and my FAVORITE thing to make is ASPARAGUS CHIPS! I will post my favorite recipe I created for my Spinach Pumpkin Dip later!

Tuesday 2

I had truly a weird 'out of body' sort of day/week. I binged at work on Renew Life's Fiber Smart again. 500 calories... I also majorly binged on my bran crispbread. It's like I'm shovelling down pain, fear and anxiety. I am so ashamed of myself. I could really use some support, someone to talk to etc, but it's hard. I often feel like I can't be honest because you will all think I'm weird and unstable. That is not the case. We all struggle. I am a professional 26 year old female that is dealing (or 'not dealing') with a lot of emotions, pain and trying to suppress them, keep my head up and get through life. I am so ashamed of my binge eating. I read all your blogs, about your significant others, your families (my fam is the cause of all my pain) and so want your lives. No one has a perfect life, but you guys give me something to do, and so much hope and inspiration. Thank you to everyone. I hope to meet some of you one day, and become friends as well.
B

Trouble....

I haven't been able to sleep or wake up normally lately. My 'internal' clock is SO screwed up. I am stressed to the max due to life, and my 'weekend' buddy, and opted OUT OF THE GYM this morning. I was actually dressed, and out the door and returned. I have been stress eating like nobodies business, and am up 8.5 lbs. Not good. I turned my cell off today, and do not plan on seeing him until at least 25 (I said we would go to Sherlock). Yesterday was a GRAND day...
I ORDERED THE VITA MIX 5200!!! In Platinum! Actually, he ordered and paid for it. But still....
I had been wanting one for years, debating between the Vitamix, Blendtec and Montel's Health Master Emulsifier etc. I know he is going to hold it over my head as in "How is the VitaMix I" got you'. etc.

My gym membership was being paid by my dad because it is a private corporate facility in him old place of work. He told me he can't afford to pay it anymore due to finances (he got laid off) and that is causing so much panic and stress. It is my morning solace and it calms me down. Hence stress eating and avoiding dealing with it. I feel guilty for not going today. I am in a complete state of panic and stress 24/7 and it shows. I have so much to be grateful for and am not trying to sound whiny. I will start posting normal stuff soon. I just need to chill out!!! UGH

Return of Chocolate "Brownie Batter" aka Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Food mix

I have had the shittiest workouts these past few days. I woke up with crazy muscle HEAT and weakness yesterday and 'slept in' majorly. I got up @ 7:50am. As you recall I am usually ON THE MACHINE AT THE GYM by 7:30am the latest. I literally ran to the gym and was on @ 8am. I could barely move my legs. So tired. Obviously my body was trying to tell me something.

Today was better, but my speed and strength were so low. I did 54min=519cal/5.34m. Was planning and so excited to go see 'Up In The Air' today, but they pushed back the release date! Instead they bumped up Invictus from Xmas day, so I am going to that instead! So excited. I also used my Superfood and finally made some 'Brownie Batter'!!! YUM YUM YUM. I added some PGX granules, psyllium husks for thickness, cinnamon and 3 packets Sweet and Low, and mixed it all with Walden Farms SF
Pancake Syrup and DaVinci SF Irish Cream syrup. Too good to describe.




Lunch was so good! Steamed (microwaved) zucchini and radish, the rest I cut up and ate raw and spiralized the Zucchini. Green beans seasoned and heated, 455g bag of Coleslaw, Country Italian Walden Farms Dressing, tons of HEAT WAVE Cape Herb and Spice Company grinder, and cucumber!



INVICTUS WAS GOOD!!! Got a beautiful calendar from the Calendar Club! This is always a huge process for me; I always get 2-3 calendars and I need to pick the perfect one. I got Mediterraneana! I also got a wicked glass med size bowl, L'Oreal Carbon Black new Voluminous mascara and tea. We then went to Planet Organic again, and I got another 2 spices from the Cape and Herb Company; Heat Wave (again) and another chicken.

Here is dinner:

I am trying to come up with a 'festive' title for this post, however I am covered in goosebumps, shaking, the the apparent brain freeze I am experiencing is due to the back that IT IS FREEZING! I kid you not, I nearly cried last night when I ran from the grocery store to the car. The icy biting wind was unrelenting. As soon as I got home (1.5hrs later than I wanted to AGAIN) I immediately turned on the kettle for tea, and started on dinner. I discovered this morning that I didn't put 5 bags of radishes away (brain freeze- oops). I had also missed 1/2 of Tori and Dean on Slice. It was a sad moment. I also couldn't feel my feet. I got more Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Foods, and told myself I wouldn't have any....11 servings later.... It's just so yummy. I am kind of depressed over that.

I work with C today- which is the girl that I like, as opposed to my other co-worker, so that makes Monday much more enjoyable.

I am also contemplating buying heated electric underwear. I also think this will be the year that I will bring 'Onesies' or the snowsuit back (as well as the Sexy!). I HATE HATE HATE freezing winter weather. Again, all I can say it Seychelles. What were my parents thinking??!!! ha ha

Gym was GRUELING. I didn't have any bbatter chocolate greensrownie , because I felt so ashamed for having 15 servings last night. I ended up binging on Renew Life's Fibersmart again. I got to stay 2.5hrs longer at work which was good. Here is dinner (unpictured seaweed, salsa, gg crisp, jello and second bowl of salad/broccoli slaw/ grape tomatoes etc):

Had a horrible night, and yet an amazing workout! 54min:530cal/5.83miles.
Had 8 Sweet Nothing SF Black Licorice Cats, and BROWNIE BATTER!




We ended up going to Sobey's because they had Coleslaw 454g bags on sale for $1! I got 5! I also got a wonderful awapuhi/papaya conditioner (Freeman) and found 2 new seasonal lip glosses from Rimmel! Grabbed some Romaine, Salsa, Gum, Radishes, Asparagus, Resistex, Green Onions, Rubbermaid Lock It Tupperware and I got a new big and tall mug, and a square black ceramic bowl I'm going to use for Salsa. I also got some Peri peri sauce, and Mama Choulas!

I got home SUPER late (7:40pm) so I was stressed trying to make dinner etc. We didn't go to Amaranth Natural Foods, Planet Organic, and Community Natural Foods :(
Dinner:








I was so anxious after dinner that I got up @ midnight, went down to my mailbox, grabbed a packet of Protilife Chocolate, ate that, had 2 more seaweed sheets, another 455g bag of radishes, a sweet bell pepper, and 6 jello. I couldn't calm down! Very wired up.

No work today! I woke up early, decided to lie in bed for a bit and then woke up 10min to 7!!!! ARGH. Came to the gym CALM and late! AMAZING good workout. The kind that you zone out. I added 6min and did 60min=583Calories/6.14Miles!
After I had a wonderful long shower, and 3 Sweet Nothings' Sugar Free Belgium Black Licorice Cats. Of course, I was looking forward to my 'Brownie Batter' aka Amazing Grass Chocolate Super Food mixed with sweetener, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, sf Walden Farms Pancake Syrup, and DaVinci SF Chocolate syrup! I addedPGX granules, and some psyllium husks to it- hence the weird thickish texture:



I FINALLY used my spiralizer today- had 2 zucchinis (1/2 made into chips, the other spiralized):











Went to see 'The Brother's' (really good and dramatic), got a new book "The Bishop's Man" and loaded up on jello, and the most exciting shocking find EVER! Superstore had WALDEN FARMS products in their Kosher section! I actually pummled my friend and shreiked out load from excitement!


Dinner: