Saturday, May 8, 2010
I try to be as open and honest on this blog as I can. I often feel to overwhelmed to type out my feelings after dealing with them all day. I have mentioned that I have a strained relationship with my family, and it BREAKS MY HEART. We are so distant now, that listening to voice messages from them causes me to cry. I don't talk to my baby sister as much due to anxiety. My family is the most important thing to me- which is why they have such an impact on me emotionally. I don't like to bring 'their' stuff up in this blog, but I need to ask you guys for help. My dad IS NOT doing well, and I am so worried that I am literally in tears right now and can hardly breathe. He got laid off from his job after 27+ years and is so discouraged and depressed, that it is breaking my heart. He has lost his sense of value, self, his identity, confidence etc. You should hear him on the phone. He sounds so DEAD. I wish I could do more. He has been applying for jobs non stop- and nothing. He feels like he has been thrown away. This man is the most important person in my life. I have no words to express my love. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. My sister is graduating high school, my mom is sick and frustrated, my dad is frustrated and discouraged and lost. They are hurting so much. I so want him to find a job. It would do so much in restoring his sense of SELF respect/confidence and identity. He feels WORTHLESS and that is the worst feeling in the world. Please, from the bottom of my heart- pray for him, my family, and for me as well.
On to this mornings amazing 'COOKIE DOUGH' Batter!
ing ha ha) this in front of my gym locker at the gym, the snooty ladies walked in so I stopped and packed up- other wise I would have had more.
- 15g Isoflex Vanilla Isolate (by Allmax)- I wanted to grab 1-1.5scoops but they walked in.
- 24g Fiber Smart (Renew Life)
- 2 packets of Sweet and Low
- Davinci Gourmet Sugar Free Coconut Syrup (as much as you want- this is all I used for the liquid. Add more as the Fiber Smart swells)
STIR and let thicken: