Monday, March 15, 2010

5 more days until Friday!!!

Good Morning everyone!
Ever have 'those' nights where no matter what you do, or take- you cannot fall asleep or even get that restful laying in bed feeling? I was up periodically during the night, and barely slept at all. Surprisingly I am up this morning (defies all logic) even though I feel like I have been hit by a ton of bricks (weirdest expression!).
I am so worried about work. I bought my manager and bitchy co-worker presents (I always do) and decided I am not taking my coworkers into work today. I do it because I want to, so it doesn't matter if she is a manipulative backstabbing two faced person. However, until I know what's going on....

I wish I had blogged about what is going on earlier. I don't mean mention it vaguely in passing- but get advice, specific examples etc. I don't want to sound like a whiny person, I'm not, so I keep everything to myself. I am afraid to talk to my manager (I always come out sounding whiny and he misinterprets) or overly emotional.
It is eating away at me.

It is now 6:52am. I really hope today goes well. I am a highly HIGHLY reactive person. If someone treats me well or is in a good mood- I am also in a good mood. If someone is really cold, hurtful, mean, and condescending, it affects my entire self worth and concept. I have gotten much better. Some days I could care less, but those days I usually know where I stand. I didn't work Friday (when one of the head regional guys came in) and I had wanted to talk to my manager about certain things (ie me doing all the work). I feel like something went on behind my back. Coworker won't respond to any texts. I finally asked if she wanted a marshmallow bunny (just to see if she was ignoring me) and she finally tested back "yes I got your tests, sure if you want to grab me one". When I AGAIN asked how things went Friday- NOTHING. 3rd time. It's causing such anxiety. I hate that the ball is in her 'court'. I have nothing to be nervous about- except I always on edge because I think I have done great, and my manager will freak on me for no reason (usually something she did). When I say 'Sorry, but that wasn't me' he always says 'I've talked to other staff too- I don't want to hear it'. He has also accused me of doing stuff I never ever did, nor would do. ugh.

7:02am. I just want to sit. So tired and stressed. I sometimes feel like I'm going to just break down from being overwhelmed. I am off to the gym. I truly need to start 'collecting evidence' (yes, I sound totally conspiracy theory) to cover my ass. I mean pictures of the messy store she leaves, have someone be willing to say they saw me mop, sweep, clean, organize etc. Proof of my work or her lack of work, in case. I am not the type to go running to the manager or get anyone in trouble. This is just as a 'just in case' scenario.

Good Lord, I need help! lol. This sounds so 'I need to be admitted on the psych ward'.
Love you all!
Any suggestions? Seriously. I truly appreciate any comment anyone leaves me.

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