Thursday, March 25, 2010

Fast and free vent/rant...Getting stuff off my chest..Support please!

I am currently being manipulated by someone and they are such a negative energy suck and toxic person. I realize I cannot be manipulated unless I allow it- but it is stressing me out so much and I hate people that BLAME EVERYONE BUT THEMSELVES! I can't stand when people play victim or place their life's happiness in everyone else's hands and refuse to change their perspective, thinking etc or do anything about their situation. I know I whine at times, and I rant- but I know how freaking blessed and lucky I am and I am just venting! I hold myself accountable for everything. So life didn't turn out how I WANTED IT WHEN I WANTED IT. BOO HOO. Big deal. It obviously wasn't supposed to work out that way, and it will lead down a different path that will be right for me.
I hate when people say 'no one loves me, I am toxic, the one person I love won't love me back (meaning me) I am the worlds doormat, I am a failure no one ever cared enough to spend my birthday with me. All I want is one person who loves me as much as I do and SHE DOESN'T. I had hope and it's all gone life is over I have nothing to live for". Trying to manipulate someone to feel about you how you want them to is the sickest most depraved form of abuse possible. I hate ungrateful selfish spoiled people. We have it too good guys. If you love someone, you are thankful you have them and take them as they are and accept them for who they are completely. I am not here to fill your emptiness or void, to give you self confidence, a purpose, a reason to live. You need to love yourself, take responsibility for your life and behaviours, own it. Your sense of self comes from within. It is unfair to place the responsibility on me. Solely on me. As in "If I don't get what I want from you-the way I want it-I will kill myself'. That is not how you treat anyone you care about.

Sorry for the rant, but I don't share with many people and I feel that I can share with you guys and you can take it with a grain of salt. I trust you all so any advice is appreciated. I am supposed to spend the weekend with this person, and am so uncomfortable. I am not trying to whine, send negative energy out etc. Just needed a friend and someone to rant to!
Please do not judge!
ps- the grammer nazi in me is cringing. Sorry for the run on sentences, incorrect structure, spelling etc. I have so much on my mind I can't type it all. I need one of those dictation devices that I speak into, and it transcribes the words for me as I say it!


  1. at least you know you can rant to the bloggies! definitely not judging you, just supporting you <3

  2. hang in there ;) negative people are poison -- like you said, toxic. chin up, you're better than this


  3. Sorry you are going through this, but I have to say this sentence made me laugh

    "I need one of those dictation devices that I speak into, and it transcribes the words for me as I say it! "

    I do transcription work, and a lot of it is cleanup of the speech recognition files. Some of the stuff it interprets a person saying is really hilarious!