Saturday, March 13, 2010

Yesterday was just NOT good


Dymatize Elite 12hr Protein in Vanilla and Blueberry Muffin mixed with Davinci Sugar Free Syrups and Walden Farms Sugar Free Pancake/Blueberry syrup!
To. Die. For.

Yesterday was one of those days. I left work after 1hr and made up an excuse. I went home to stress eat and let me tell you bloggies, it was not pretty. I almost cancelled plans to go see Alice in Wonderland, so I could make more Protein Sludge. I also had 1/3 of a benzodiazamine (Ativan). Yes, the very same one that caused the uncontrollable vomiting, nausea, dizziness for those 3 days of hell, when I had 1.5 about 5months ago. I was a wreck.

I was so exhausted emotionally, that I literally could not for the life of me keep my eyes open or my head up during the movie. It was bad! I drank a Fuze (We finally have the Acai Pom, and Blueberry Raspberry) and some diet 7up afterwards, but was dehydrated beyond belief. The headache set it, and it deteriorated from there. I was a wreck due to money (I had 37 for my entire groceries this weekend) and I had to pick up a special order of PGX granules from this amazingly cheap natural store I found. I usually pay $47.99 but they see them @ $34.99! Hence my dilemma. I tried to transfer money, but it has to be post dated etc. Finally the special transfer cleared, and I got my granules, my sister a mascara, 34cans of Wax beans (on sale for $0.74 plus I had a 0.10coupon per can!), some romaine and a huge ass Mrs.Dash at Superstore.

I decided to forget about my huge stress binge (8servings-1040calories) and eat normal. I had my pack of GG Scandinavian Bran Crisp Bread, dinner, dessert until I was stuffed and exhausted.

I am headed out to the gym and will NOT be indulging in anything remotely sweet *trigger* (food when I am stress). Certain types of proteins actually SPIKE your blood sugar. Hydrolyzed or Hydrolisates, because they enter the blood stream so fast. Faster than isolates, they are broken down into 3 peptides and taste bitter for that reason. For some reason, I have bad issues with the Elite Dymatize 12hr protein. Live and learn. I was feeling vulnerable and stressed, and set on self destruction. So glad my friend left so I couldn't cancel (he was already 1/2 to my place when I texted him to not come) because I needed to get out.

Sorry this post is so all over the place. I also feel a lot of shame, and am very unhappy with how I coped yesterday. It was a behaviour I have not resorted to in a long while (in that amount). It keeps me humbled and every watchful. Just when you think you are in control etc... Another lesson learned.

Love you guys!
Off to the gym again.
Meh- I need a holiday!!!!


  1. I actually noticed your blog by doing a search for GG bran crips (love these crisp breads - only 12 calories each and they help fill you up)!

    Although when I read your blog I wanted to share with you a quote that my husband and I live by (sorry can't remember who wrote it but here's a summary)...

    'Each day I am getting better and better - sometimes I win and sometimes I lose although each day I am getting better and better!'

    Therefore don't worry about yesterday - today is a brand new day. That's what is so great about mornings - you get to start all over! :-)

    Goodluck today.

    P.S. Also was not sure if you ever tried a mixture of cinnamon and truvia on the brancrisps. Great low calorie sweet snack! Hope you enjoy.

  2. Aw, Barbara, I'm sorry you had an awful day yesterday. We all have one of those stress-eating days. I agree with what the commenter above said: tomorrow is a brand new day: start afresh!
    But I'm sorry, I don't recognize half the food that you listed...Are they actually healthy? I don't mean to be nosy, but a few things that I read make me a bit concerned. Perhaps you can shift your interest to real and whole foods, instead of low-cal stuff?

  3. OH I must make that pudding!! Where can I get those syrups and products that you told me about on my blog? I still haven't gotten an email from you- I wonder if my email is messed up??

    I hope your feeling better! We all have those days, we just gotta make each day a new one!

  4. I have been there...but we have to move on! Most of the problems occur AFTERWARDS when we feel guilty and down and that feeds into MORE bingeing! How are you doing now? Feel free to email me anytime :)