I woke up at 12:45am and decided I needed to eat a few sugar free jello cups, coleslaw, and lettuce before going to bed. I don't know what I was thinking. It's Monday morning, and I feel SO BLAH that I can't think of a satisfactory word which would accurately portray my current state. I haven't used my anxiety meds yet- the thought of actually putting one in my mouth makes me shudder. I remember all to well that chalky disolving taste they had, and it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about right now.

I hope work is good today. I work with the co-worker that I find more annoying than a SPEIDI special and just being around her grates on me.

I am going to the gym, and then I get to have my Amazing Grass Super Foods Chocolate made thick with sweetener like a brownie batter! Yum!

Then I have work, and @ 5pm I have my therapist. I am too tired to think right now so I will update everyone when I get back.

Didn't make it through work. So anxious I left. Manager hates me. Stayed at home and ate, then buddy picked me up and we went to see "London Dreams' (bollywood!) and then went to Community Natural Foods and got Bija's Holy Basil Tea and another tub of Amazing Grass Superfoods chocolate. I wanted Berry too, but he was being generous and I didn't want to appear ungrateful.

This is dinner:


My goal is to make it through the day tomorrow. I will most likely need to take my Ativan. My workout today was 54min:519cal and 5.4 miles. I cancelled my therapist. Life is overwhelming.