Sunday recap and a new HIDEAWAY

I am writing this from the GOOD EARTH a few blocks from my apartment and totally enjoying lazily chilling out and CALMLY reading blogs and typing this. Why have I not been doing this earlier?This is my new hideaway-destressing place! I always make plans to GET OUT, and yet end up feeling crammed anxious, aggitated when I'm @ my apartment and on the computer because it is SO cluttered. Anyone have any ideas about de-cluttering? I hate being in there. It is like an episode of Hoarders!! Anyways, my sister finally returned my lap top and I finally decided to get out!  Rewind to yesterday:
I woke up too early, too tired....went to the gym and pushed my way through my workout. I was feeling MEH. Just down for no reason.I ate 3 bags of radish, 2 340g bags of cauliflower, mushrooms, red peppers and of course my Protishake and 4Fiber gooey pudding invention! SOOOO good. I realize my lunch picture looks yucky- but it's all how you season it and it was GOOD!

I have to say this batch of CREAMY amazing Protilife soft serving/shake was RIDICULOUSLY creamy and amazing. I think it had to do with the fact that a, I added more 4Fiber to it and

b, I let it sit for awhile and let it congeal and thicken. My pudding was so good too!

My weekend friend picked me up around 2pm and our first stop was Walmart where I grabbed 4 Mann's Rainbow Salads, French's Bold'n'Spicy mustard, Vaseline Intensive Therapy (my right hand is so chapped, that when i\I make a fist, the skin on the knuckles cracks and bleeds!) and

Celestial Seasonings Cran Apple Zinger Tea.

We didn't really know what to do next to kill time, so we decided to head over to Lina's Italian Market!

I haven't been here in YEARS! Sorry about the crappy cell pictures! I think the lense was greasy from the Vaseline cream! lol. This place is BIG and has a kitchen/utensil section, and isles of spices, vinegars, oils, canned goods, SPICES& SEASONINGS, SPICES....lol as well as a cafe, deli, fresh cheese bar, gelato, pizza, and cute Italian boys serving you! They sell European food (Polish, Hungarian, Spain, Italy, Croatia etc). I got Italianna Dijon Mustard , and Szeged Hungarian Seasonings that I haven't had in about 5 years!

I got the Fish Rub and the Chicken (amazing- my mom used to buy their Hungarian Paprika all the time!)

In my cupboards...

They closed at 5pm on Sunday's so we were pretty much kicked out.
Since I am of European origin, I was literally having 'reminiscing' moments of nastalgia! A lot of the gingerbreads, neopolitanki, sweets etc were imported from Central East Europe ( where my family originates).

Saturday Mar 27

I write this EXHAUSTED on a Sunday morning. Here is a quick recap of Saturday! Woke up in a good mood and got ready for the gym. AMAZING workout!!! 55min 540cak/5.89miles. I obviously showered and then decided to ask the cool security guard about my 'situation' with feeling uneasy about my weekend friend. He is an ex-military no nonesense type of guy. At the gym I measured out 26g of Genesis Today 4Fiber to make into pudding at home. I also grabbed a Protilife Chocolate shake packet.
I decided to make a shake with the packet instead of pudding (I always split it in half in my magic bullet-8g in each serving-so I make two shakes from the 17g packet). I added Davinci Syrups, Walden Farms Pancake Syrup, PGX granules, cancer packets, ice and cinnamon and a DASH of the 4Fiber (it congeals it and gives it a cohesive texture). I ended up using only making 1 shake and saved the rest for night to dip my crackers in!

Creamy Goodness




So good! I ate this with my lunch.

4Fiber cookie dough/pudding

Yes, it is resting on top of my Magic Bullet Single Shot Box! Very Apprapos!

I also have the Magic Bullet Express, the Bullet Express Food processor, and The Ninja Master Prep!

I then decided to text my Manipulative weekend friend a happy text to feel the situation out. Luckily, he was in a great mood and we had a wicked day.

Not to steal a quote from Bella, but his "mood swings are giving me whip-lash'! Seriously, he needs help. I made the best of my day and got most of my groceries done. I also got sunglasses for 7.98! We went to the WholeSale Superstore for my box of 14 Radishes. I think I forgot to mention that on Wednesday, I got DENIED at Costco? At the checkout!! ALL I had was Celery and 2.9L TUB of French's Mustard! Anyways, they did have Sunspun mustard on sale for $5 for 3.78L.

This picture DOES NOT do the size justice FYI! It is the size a a head or from your elbow to your wrist. You can see my friend placing my box of radishes on top. We then went to Staples to look for Day Planners (I wanted the one back-stabby co-worker got lol) but didn't find it. Next up was SUPERSTORE!!! I also called this new place I get my PGX granules from and they forgot to call me to tell me they got my order. We refer to this Superstore as KOSHER Superstore; they used to have this awesome isle called 'Kosher Foods' which also had 5 WALDEN FARMS products!!! They renovated, moved everything and WF went missing (except for the Honey Dijon Dressing) and yesterday I looked at the very bottom shelf and they had the Chocolate Dip and Strawberry Dip!!!!!!!!!!!! I got my Dole Romaine (7 bags-one for each day), 6 340g bags of Cauliflower, mushrooms, canned green beans, SALSA, green onions, more mustard, electrolyte packets and deodorant!!! Below is my favorite isle #2! They now have the canned vegetable with the SALSA!!! Salsa used to be with the Kosher Foods (which I loved). I ofcourse grabbed TWO big Jugs of Medium Salsa (No Name- because I'm ghetto like that!)

They are the ones on the bottom with the lame yellow label. We also perused the various ethnic isles for a bit (where we found the COCK soup packet last time) and found this diddy:

"Less-Grease Peanuts" WTF?

We ended making the natural food place 2min before they closed and I got my granules and some BIJA HOLY BASIL TEA!
The key is I had a nice day and made it out SAFELY. God, that is not a good bar of success! I am going to have to make some changes, and this up and down emotional abuse is wearing me out. Off to the gym; hope he is stable today!

Love you all, and thanks again for the support!

Thank you to 3 amazing bloggies!

First of all, my sincere THANKS for the amazing encouragement and support from everyone.
I cannot express what it meant to me, nor how much it has helped! It is crazy how much an online community of people you have never met, can impact your life in such a major way!
THANK YOU.

I am so uneasy and uncomfortable. I knew he wouldn't text me unless I texted him first (he is the stubborn/needy come to me type) and I didn't want any contact. However, if your friend is hurting and you don't reach out to wish them a nice day, that would be me just being a jerk. So I texted 'Hope you are having an AMAZING wonderful day! It is gorgeous out! Sending you lots of happiness". He immediately responded, and keeps using my full name to add drama/gravity to the situation. I see him tomorrow, so I wanted to put him at ease (and myself) and lighten the mood up. I sent him one more text saying 'oh and I am sending you infinite and unconditional love and support and lots of warm fuzzies too! Luv ya".
He is backing me into a corner. Not overtly threatening me (with doing something stupid/suicidal) etc, but it is implicit. He is putting the responsibility of his future/well being/ mortality and outcome on me, while manipulating the situation. He wrote back ' Thank you (name)...You will never know how much I love you. Goodbye". All dramatic like. I told him to lighten up and chill out.

If this was just some pathetic ploy, I wouldn't even think about this again until his pulled his self together. He is acting like he is in grade 7 and wants attention. However, there is something about him that makes me weary. Perhaps due to past experience... Tomorrow is going to be so uncomfortable. I feel so stuck.

I had a good day regardless- I decided I will have a great day and I did! Good workout, got along with co-worker (she thinks I should totally cut him off and call police).

I want to thank JANETHA, LORI AND SHANNON so much for their kind and supportive comments! Ladies, you have NO idea what reading your comments did to me! I was so worried that I came off whiny etc. Obviously there is A LOT that I'm not saying, but it was serious enough for me to write about. You are amazing! I don't know you (personally) but I feel like you are truly friends. You uplifted my soul and spirit and I so needed that. Thank you so much!

Fast and free vent/rant...Getting stuff off my chest..Support please!

I am currently being manipulated by someone and they are such a negative energy suck and toxic person. I realize I cannot be manipulated unless I allow it- but it is stressing me out so much and I hate people that BLAME EVERYONE BUT THEMSELVES! I can't stand when people play victim or place their life's happiness in everyone else's hands and refuse to change their perspective, thinking etc or do anything about their situation. I know I whine at times, and I rant- but I know how freaking blessed and lucky I am and I am just venting! I hold myself accountable for everything. So life didn't turn out how I WANTED IT WHEN I WANTED IT. BOO HOO. Big deal. It obviously wasn't supposed to work out that way, and it will lead down a different path that will be right for me.
I hate when people say 'no one loves me, I am toxic, the one person I love won't love me back (meaning me) I am the worlds doormat, I am a failure no one ever cared enough to spend my birthday with me. All I want is one person who loves me as much as I do and SHE DOESN'T. I had hope and it's all gone life is over I have nothing to live for". Trying to manipulate someone to feel about you how you want them to is the sickest most depraved form of abuse possible. I hate ungrateful selfish spoiled people. We have it too good guys. If you love someone, you are thankful you have them and take them as they are and accept them for who they are completely. I am not here to fill your emptiness or void, to give you self confidence, a purpose, a reason to live. You need to love yourself, take responsibility for your life and behaviours, own it. Your sense of self comes from within. It is unfair to place the responsibility on me. Solely on me. As in "If I don't get what I want from you-the way I want it-I will kill myself'. That is not how you treat anyone you care about.

Sorry for the rant, but I don't share with many people and I feel that I can share with you guys and you can take it with a grain of salt. I trust you all so any advice is appreciated. I am supposed to spend the weekend with this person, and am so uncomfortable. I am not trying to whine, send negative energy out etc. Just needed a friend and someone to rant to!
Please do not judge!
Xoxo
B
ps- the grammer nazi in me is cringing. Sorry for the run on sentences, incorrect structure, spelling etc. I have so much on my mind I can't type it all. I need one of those dictation devices that I speak into, and it transcribes the words for me as I say it!

Ghetto Glycolic peel, fibery goodness and Farmer's Market!

Yesterday afternoon, I gave myself the 'poor man's' (or ghetto) version of a Glycolic Acid peel! In my previous post, I mentioned that I am loving Dermaglow's Glycolic Acid Treatment (new product from them) and I love that it is like an astringent/toner! Ladies, I have been looking HAGGARD. As in people are commenting daily. I hate having makeup on my skin, but lately have been using cheap under eye concealer (hello lack of sleep!) because I look worse than death! I need to get on the Sleep Challenge bandwagon ASAP!


So, while looking for a Simpson/Futurama themed BDAY card for my weekend friend (birthday was yesterday) I decided to take full advantage of the 'TESTER' bottles of skin care. I also may have broken into the cosmeticians drawer to get face pad thingies. I 'glycoliced' the heck out of my face, neck and decolletage (10% baby) and then liberally used Glycolic Acid moisturizer for my face, a special one for the eyes, a separate one for the neck and 'decolletage'. I was bright red and patchy due to dry skin and the ONE (wtf) semi-zit I had on my cheek. I felt very fab-y after as a strutted my cheap ass out to walk home. I did buy a card, but stopped at another place and found an actual Homer Simpson one- so I got that one too!


This morning I was exhausted as usual, but had a GREAT 55min workout. 5.89miles. I decided to finally add pictures of the Genesis Today 4Fiber product I keep talking about, along with my crammed locker (at the gym).




4Fiber by Genesis Today:

Close up of stacked locker #1....

Zooming out....

The 'full effect' ie CRAMMED!

This is what I walk out to in the building my gym is in! So inspiring!

After the gym I went home and CRASHED. Listened to the news and a great debate re: the Texas school board controversy. Then I ate 2 bags of radishes dipped in honey mustard, had some Holy Basil Tea and made my Protilife shake and 4Fiber pudding/cookie dough:

Excuse the blue leather couch. 4Fiber  pudding goodness!

Another shot. That towel has cinnamon spilled all over it. Sorry!

I then had my lunch which was a 456g bag of Dole Coleslaw mix, 340g bag of cauliflower all microwaved and dressed with blueberry, honey mustard and Asian dressing, topped with 266g of white mushrooms and mustard for dipping! I am currently finishing my second Protilife shake (I split them in half) and am getting ready to hit up the FARMER'S MARKET!!!

I will update later!

ps- It is SNOWING! Happy spring to you too!

Up close.... so good and creamy.

Chocolate Protilife, ice, Davinci Sugar Free syrup, Walden Farms sf pancake syrup, cinnamon, PGX, sweetener, and a sprinkle of 4Fiber.

VITAMIX DEMO, Raper Van and 46 canned wax beans.

I had another phenomenal workout today, despite being so tired this morning I actually cried from exhaustion. My energy ramped up on the machine-it never ceases to amaze me. Today was a special day, as the VITA MIX demo was finally at our Costco's! I have been waiting for this since last November. Let me rewind to the beginning of the day. Post workout I had 4Fiber pudding with sf pancake syrup, sweetener, and Davinci sf Dulce De Leche syrup:

Followed by my normal Protilife Ice cream!

I had lunch (unpictured) after this which was my standard 2 bags of radishes dipped in honey mustard, a bag of broccoli slaw and a bag of cauliflower, red bell peppers, and mushrooms. I watched The Real Housewives of Orange County and infomercials during this. I then took a quick 15min nap and I did NOT want to get up. I know I keep repeating this, but I am not a nap person. Wish I was, but I get anxious being in my apartment during the day. The fact that I wanted to stay in bed and having been passing out from exhaustion DAILY and waking up exhausted is a sign that something is seriously off. I then ran down to meet my Weekend Friend, and we decided to get Superstore over with so we could spend most of our time @ Costco. I got 46cans of yellow and green wax beans, 4 908g bags of DOLE ROMAINE, 2 340g bags of cauliflower, salsa, tea, gum, Kikkomanan Low Sodium Soy Sauce and 4 4pack bags of Red Bell Peppers!!!

There were A LOT more cans...

Organic Nut Butter wall. This was from yesterdays Planet Organic trip but I forgot to upload it. I thought it would be a nice place to insert it here! LOL




We then went to Costco, where I got 2 packs of cut/washed celery hearts, a big MRS DASH and an Anatomy book for a artist friend. Of course we went for the Costco demo. We have their entire demo tour schedule and we will be like bad groupies! They will be in the south store March 24...and like obsessed groupie stalkers, we will be there. I proceeded to be a sample whore and steal all the soup demo cups by parking myself in front of them. The soup was pretty good. I also had a smoothie- but the LAME Vita mix protein powder was SOY (wtf) and had sugar in it- so I only had a tiny sample. It was excellent. I had no ice cream because the berry concentrate was all sugar and my body is SO sensitive. I proceeded to whore more soup cups (I had 5 mini elderly pill dispenser cup fulls) while marveling at the irritating girl who claimed her Vita ate her Tamper, and eventually wrangled the poor demo guy into giving her his demo tamper for free!!! I also managed to steal a bright yellow Hawaiian Leis as they had some sort of tropical palm tree lei thing going on all over the store. I wanted the lovely lavendar purple, but beggars can't be choosers (of in this case, Thieves can't be choosers!).

Now, lets talk about the traumatic experience that occurred. I call it, the adventures of the RAPER VAN. First of all, these windowless pervert kiddie porn Dodge vans should be made illegal. This particular van, I first saw in the Costco parking lot. Usually, I would think they would be that hideous beige/tan or off white, brown hew. This was horrendous. BRIGHT CRAYOLA ORANGE rusted to hell. We immediately blanched upon seeing it, and concluded there was something so wrong about it. We forgot about it, until we left to Best Buy right after Costco. This was in another complex, across the road. I stayed in the car and waited for my friend to grab a Wii headset. I entertained myself by reading the legal jargon on a Europe's Best coupon. All of a sudden OUT OF NOWHERE I see rusted obscene orange glide into my peripheral vision. As in pull up RIGHT BESIDE ME. Ugh- excuse me, but what are the chances raper van is both in Costco and then randomly goes to Best Buy too? I never get freaked out. I will walk alleys at night, by myself, and feel less of a scared sick feeling then I did when I looked up and saw it beside me.

It reminded my of Steven King's Christine- the Demon car following me. Instinctively, my hand jutted out and I locked all the doors while I waited to see who would emerge. It was this old kiddie porn distributing looking old dirty man. I kid you not, when he looked at me I actually felt evil emanating from him. I immediately texted my friend, who came running over.

I wanted to take a picture of the license plate, because I am CONVINCED no one would drive that van if they were sane. I realize it stands out like a sore thumb (being orange, and not the ubiquitous beige/off white), but it made me feel dirty just looking at it. I did take a picture of the rust spots which littered the car like pox marks. My cell phone camera lens was dirty, the car windows were dirty- so the picture does not do the rust or orange hue any justice:

I kept looking in the rear view the entire way home. I then got flowers (awww), mushrooms, and went home. Ate dinner, and am now indulging in my nightly GG Scandinavian Crispbread pudding mush!!! I also got a copy of my fave comedians newest CD (Lewis Black) so I am so excited to listen to it in bed!!!

Hope you guys had a great week!