Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Feeling so MANIPULATED

< Hello! I am leaving in about 8 min for the gym..it is 652am and I somehow managed to stay in bed due to a throbbing headache that surfaced last night, and escalated through the early hours of this morning. I am feeling really 'undigested' and bloated. I am really trying to stay positive today, as I am quite stressed. I am packing a can of shredded bamboo shoots, can of whole green asparagus style canned beans (with Johnny's seasoning) a 454g of radishes to crunch on, tuna and a bell pepper. I also plan on having my CHOCOLATE Amazing Grass Super Foods after my workout!!! I think I am just going to refer to it as my Chocolate Brownie Batter from now on. So my 'friend' ordered me a case of the GGScandinavian Bran Crisp Breads  (30 packs per case) and got it sent to HIS place... it's his way of controlling the situation- so I am more dependant on him. I never asked him to, but I am glad he did. This whole thing is so F*$#ed up!! I truly just want him to shut the hell up about his feelings, man up, and go back to how things were before he became so whiny, manipulative, melodramatic, and irrational. Seriously! You obviously do not value a friendship if you are willing to destroy it due to a 'feeling'. He KNOWS I do not feel the same way, and he kept saying in the car 'I know if I say it I will wreck everything blah blah" after which he repeated (for sympathy) about 30x "I can't do anything right". I didn't correct him. It's 7:02am and I still haven't left. I'll give myself another 10min and I'm off to FACE THE DAY! UPDATE: I did 54min @ the gym and burned 520cal/5.30miles. I am feeling so torn, as my friend (who I am physically repulsed by) sexually speaking) has been texting me messages all day saying we NEED to be a couple, he is in love, holding what he spent his day doing over my head ("Because I am constantly SELFLESSLY going out of my way to make you happy, I picked up another 5 boxes of protilife for you"). SELFLESSLY? I am so stressed and uncomfortable. So worried @ the same time about $ and how I'm going to get all my groceries done without him... I want to cry. Too stressed to even write about anything else, or take pictures. Sorry guys. PLEASE HELP. I just told him I am not sure about this weekend any more- so stressed, and uncomfortable. I hope I don't lose his friendship and support. I am shaking from hurt and worry... Not even kidding Here is the HUGE 11serving size bag of Dole Romaine I use every night:


Here is dinner:





These are the Seaweed Nori sheets (times *22) that I tear into 6's per sheet every night to stuff my salad/tuna/casserole mess into every night:













These are the seaweed Nori 'wraps' I make everynight:





1 comment:

  1. Hey sweety!!!
    Thank you soo much for your nice comment!!
    So sorry you're having a hard time at the moment!! But stay strong!! I truly believe that everything will turn out well.... How it's supposed to be..!! Oh and I'm not on vacation anymore, just doing my posts now because I hadn't had any inet! And about your Q... I'm doing.... OK... could be better but I'm ok with how everything is going right now!
    Have a wonderful day (after sleeping and waking up WITHOUT headache!!)! Hug n.

    ReplyDelete